I've been thinking a lot about life lately.
Dale's father died last Tuesday (6/30). I didn't know him very long. I met him for the first time about 8 months ago. I wish I had met him when I was born. And I wish I had pictures to show you.
Dale's father was a very different sort of person... at least in my life experience. He was opposite of me politically.... and generationally (is that a word?).
But he had this "thing" about him that was so special. He was the kind of man who would reach out and befriend someone he didn't know. He was the kind of man who would mentor people younger and help them succeed. He was the kind of man who was worth his word. And he was funny as hell.
Most importantly, he accepted me as a member of his family from the second I met him and I am not exaggerating. He treated me like I was already married to Dale... like I was his daughter.
Three hours after Dale found out about his father's death, he found out that his brother Dusty had committed suicide next door to him.
I cannot imagine the anguish he went through that night. How does a person handle that?
I went with him to tell his mother the next morning. THANKFULLY she had already found out and Dale didn't have to tell her himself.. thank God for that. Thank God.
Fast forward to today.
I've sat with a woman who was in so much shock that she couldn't make a decision and was looking at me to help.
I've called my love to tell him goodnight in the middle of the worst night his life.... and I couldn't be there with him.
I've confirmed my belief that you can't judge a book by it's cover.
I've realized that I need a plan and I need to know my parents' plans.
I've realized that "my" world is not the same as "the" world.
And I have stayed up the better part of 5 days now and I am tired as hell.
Dark Night
8 years ago
3 comments:
Hugs... It's hard to be an involved bystander. I'm glad you were able to be there for Dale's mom and to be there for Dale. Having someone who truly cares makes all the difference in the world.
Get some rest - and hopefully I'll see you this week?
You've had quite a life lesson...I'm sorry it has been so hard on you and Dale. But at least you got to know his dad! "They" say to make sure those you love know it--sounds trite, but it's true.
I lost both parents by 21 (actually didn't see my dad after age 9), and though growing up was full of trauma (whose growing up isn't)--I have often wished I could talk with my parents about what's important, as well as what's trivial.
You still can! Hang in there. I love you. Jan
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