One day I'll be someone's main squeeze

You're a Boa Constrictor!

You're that person who is always offering massages to people and you spend a lot of time training yourself to get better at giving them. Sometimes, however, you make people just a little nervous with how close you're getting to their neck. But you can usually knead them right back into a false sense of security, er, I mean into feeling comfortable. Your mouth seems to be capable of opening wider than anyone else's. You've sometimes wondered what it would be like to be made out of feathers.


Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Personally, I think this one is way off. I prefer to GET massages rather than give!!

smites, and nubes, and imps, oh my

I am sitting on the couch surfing the internet and Jason is sitting on the other end of the couch playing Runescape while talking on the phone to his friend Justin, who is also playing.

Runescape is an interactive online game where you are a character and can interact with other characters (people) in real time. I don't really understand the concept, but apparently you go to different "worlds" and fight people, or go on quests, or work for money. It is very popular with his friends and I am constantly having to remind him to get off of it and notice that there is a real world outside.

There is a lot of terminololgy associated with this game and to over hear him talking about what he's doing or going to do is like listening to him talk in a foreign language.

So I am sitting here surfing and cracking up at what I am hearing:

"Dude, there's an imp at the bank."

"I'm about to go get dragon boots."

"I'm gonna take my CV brace off because I am going PK'ing."

"Dude, I just got poned."

"Go into smites and nubes and get their DVS's."

"He's owking and he has obbey kabe."

I just asked him what "owking" meant and he replied that it was for "formage."

I will not bother to ask him what "formage" means.

Small world

Today I went to Target to get Jason's school supplies.

On my way to the checkout line, I ran into a former neighbor of mine from the neighborhood I lived in before separating. I actually went to high school with her, although we were not close back then; nor were we close when I lived there, but we would speak now and then.

We stopped to talk to each other... me telling her about the separation and my move with the kids; she introducing me to her husband and offering her sympathies to a broken marriage.

Talk got around to the sale of the home. She asked if I minded telling her how much it sold for, so I did. I didn't mind because everyone who owns homes in that neighborhood is curious to know what sells for what. That way when the time comes for them to sell, they will know how price their homes.

I told her about all the heartache we went through trying to get a real offer on the place and that the woman who bought it was very excited about it.

Just as I was telling them that the buyer had put in all new appliances, I heard someone say my name. I turned around and saw a woman with a shopping cart.

I looked at her trying to recognize who it was but before I had a chance to really see her, she said, "I don't know if you remember me, but I am the woman who bought your home."

I had only met her once, and that was at closing.

I started laughing and said that I was just telling them (my old neighbor and her husband) about you.

What a small world.

Soccer Saturday

Just in from a very long day in Pensacola. Jason had a play date of two games.

The first game was at noon. It was incredibly hot and sunny with not much of a breeze. Hotter than it has been here in Tallahassee the past few weeks.

I told Kim, our team manager, that it was pretty bad when you went to wipe the sweat off your upper lip with your finger and it stayed sweaty because your finger was sweaty!

I got a big kick out of Kim today. She went to set up her chair umbrella, which has seen better days, and this is what she discovered:



All the umbrella's protective caps were missing, revealing very dangerous looking spiky tines or whatever they are called. Plus the umbrella would open out all the way.

Being the smart ass I am, I had to milk it, I pulled out my camera and made fun of her for a full 10 minutes prior to the game kick off.

Later on during half time, a very young girl, probably three years old, came up to her and asked if she was her grandmother. Kim misunderstood at first and replied that she was not her grandmother and the little girl said, "No, are you her grandmother?" (pointing to Kim's daughter.)

I thought Kim was gonna cry (not really). She was smiling of course and pretending to be offended to me, but I was cracking up. She is younger than me. So I milked that for a long time! She's such a good sport. We laughed about that for a long time.

During the second half of the game it began to rain. The rain cooled things off, which was great, but rain forces us to either retreat to our cars or huddle in our chairs under our umbrellas. So it was raining pretty steady, not a down pour but hard enough, and there we were huddled under our umbrellas... we are hard core soccer moms after all. It was a sight though...there Kim sat huddling under her spiky umbrella that wouldn't open all the way, clutching her team notebook close against her so it wouldn't get wet. It was a pitiful sight indeed.

Of course I was totally cracking up, making fun of her, and I would have taken her picture except Jessica had taken my purse (containing my camera) with her when she retreated to the car.

This is one of the pics I took today. It was so bright that I couldn't tell what I was taking or if they were in focus, but they were for the most part. My camera was on full magnify but still it is not close. That's Jason in the middle in white/red.



We won the first game 2 to 0. We lost the second game 3 to 0. The second game seemed to be much more physical and harder for the boys.

By the time we left Pensacola, I was so tired. It had been a long HOT day and I dreaded the three hour drive home, but we made it... getting home at exactly 8:49 p.m. We had a contest where we predicted the exact minute we would pull into the garage. Jason said 8:48, I said 8:49, Jessie said 8:50. It was 8:48 as I pulled into the driveway, and Jason was doing high fives on himself, but as I entered the garage the clock changed to 8:49. Of course I milked it!

During the drive home, Jessica showed me one of her many talents:

Man I'm hungry

How to make a Liane Michel

Ingredients: 1 part pride 5 parts brilliance 5 parts instinct

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of sadness and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

More alarming talk

I generally get up at 6:15 a.m. on work days. My alarm clock is set for 6:00, but I hit the snooze button twice before actually getting up.

This morning, while in the middle of my first snooze hit and trying to savor the last 10 or minutes of sleep I had remaining, Jessica walked into my bedroom and announced that it was time get up.

Trying to shield the light as if I was a vampire, I groggily asked if her alarm had gone off and she said yes. I told her I needed one more snooze and then I would get up.

By the time I stumbled out of my bedroom at 6:15, she was already dressed.

I think buying her an alarm clock may turn out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. Now I just have to get Jason to use his.

Silent alarm

Throughout the night I would wake up wondering if Jason's alarm clock had gone off and if he was up early. I didn't know what time he had set it for, but figured he'd set it for 5:00 or 5:30 a.m.

When I got up at 6:15, he was still asleep and the alarm clock was silent. I proceeded with my routine of turning on his light and telling him it was time to get up. At 6:30 he was still in bed. At 6:45 he was still in bed, but got up when I told him that this was the third and final time I would tell him.

As I was getting ready for my shower, he came in my room and sat down on the bed. I told him that I wanted him to put the clock back in the box because I was going to return it.

"Why?", he asked.

"Because it doesn't work", I said.

I had bought both the kids the cheapest ones Target had (less than $5.00 each) and Jessica's had not gone off either.

"Yes it does", he replied.

"Well, then why didn't it go off this morning?"

"It did", he said with a grin, "but I wanted to sleep some more, so I turned it off."

I just laughed at him and went into the bathroom.

I am not an alarm clock

This morning Jason complained to me that "I" need to wake him up earlier..... that he doesn't have enough time to "wake up" before he has to get ready for school.

I looked at him in disbelief.

Every morning at 6:15 (when I get up), I walk into his room, turn on his light, and tell him it's time to get up. He promptly grunts and turns over.

At 6:30, I go back to his room and prod him until he gets up. I practically have to drag him out of the bed and he is taller than me now.

So I am sitting on the couch this morning, looking at him in disbelief, and trying to realize how, somehow, it is my fault that he won't get up earlier?

He said he wanted to get up at 5:00 or 5:30 a.m.

I told him I would buy him an alarm clock and he could get up at a time he felt appropriate. So I did this afternoon.

We'll see what happens in the morning.

On another note....

The other day I asked Jessica to get the towels off the clothes line, fold them, and put them away. When she put them into the linen closet, she just crammed them in however they would fit.... and not on the same shelf either.

Towels were crammed everywhere.

I noticed, of course, and being the compulsive person I am (need to have order), I told her she should not have done that; that she should have put them in nice and orderly. Otherwise what's the point of FOLDING them?

Just now, she opened the linen closet to get a towel and she asked me why the towels were crammed in there.

I feel like I just can't win.

I toad you so

You Were a Toad

You drift into altered states of consciousness freely and easily. You also have the power to change luck and life a long life.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Hell yes.

And we're off......

Today was the first day of school. Jason is starting high school (god); Jessie middle.

I made them pose for me this morning. Haven't done that in a while. When they were little I would always take a pic of them the morning of the first day. Jessie stopped arguing with me long enough to pose.


It was funny, she just went into "photo" mode...like a model... and I snapped the pic. Then she was right back into her argument, never missing a beat.

I just finished doing MY homework... filling out the mound of paperwork they each came home with.

Soccer returns

Soccer season is back and I love it!! Jason missed almost the entire season last year due to a broken leg/foot, so it is so nice to be back! The next two or so months will be jam-packed with play dates and tournaments. Then his travel team will take a break while high school soccer has its season. And he plans to try out. Travel soccer will then resume in January.

Today, Jason's team played the U-16 boys. Here are some shots of him. He is #38 (red shirt) for those who don't know. Man, it was so hot outside.

Awakening

I've just discovered the music of Stone Temple Pilots.

OMG, where have I been all my life? I LOVE their music. Yes, I have heard of them... heard of them for years, but I have never heard them. They are AWESOME!

Actually I have always loved their hit "Interstate Love Song," but up until tonight, I thought it was by Hootie and the Blowfish.

I am so out of it.

I have always listened to mainstream music.... you know, the music played on the radio. I do own some CDs but not very many. And I would be ashamed to tell you what I do own because, apparently, boy bands are not cool anymore.

Lately, however, with the help of my friend Dale, I am discovering new music. Different music. Not the songs I hear daily on Star 98... the 10 songs of the 80s, 90s, and today. Not the same "classic" rock I hear over and over and over and OVER like a broken record. But music by bands like Ester Drang and blues.

I know, I know.... there's no excuse for not having heard blues... well I have heard some, but hey, I told you I am out of it.

So I feel like I've missed out on half my life. No, wait.... I feel like I am discovering the second half of my life!

Retard

The kids have been at each other's throats all summer. She in his business. He in hers. It's constant and it's driving me insane. Believe me, it's been a LONG summer.

Yesterday I asked Jessie to empty the dishwasher. Called her from the car on my way home from work. "Hey, I need you to empty the dishwasher and let me talk to Jason...... Jason, I need you to load the dishwasher after Jessie empties it."

"Do it before I get home please." "Okay," he says, but not without complaint.

I get home and no dishes have been loaded. I yell out for Jason. He finally comes to load, but not without more complaint. Apparently, he can't rinse and load dishes barefoot; it makes him itch. So I told him to put his shoes on. He did and promptly began whining about why no one ever rinses their dishes. He accused Jessie of messing up every dish in the house in anticipation of him having to load. Then he asked me if we could each have our own set of silverware that we each wash.

I am listening to this as I am sweeping.

In the meantime, Jessie could no longer resist the urge to get in his business. She told him to stop his complaining while pointing out everything he was doing wrong. Then she left the kitchen and came back with every stray glass and dish she could find; grinning from ear to ear.

I told her if she didn't stop, she would be loading the dishwasher. She went straight to the refrigerator and began arranging the plastic magnet letters. This is what I found later on.

Kids

A week left of summer vacation then Jessica will start middle school; Jason high school. They actually stopped fighting long enough for me to take this picture.

Jason is taller than me now (just a bit though). Somewhere along the summer he had a growth spurt. I never really noticed because I rarely see him standing anymore. He is usually sitting on couch or bed with his computer in his lap. Jessica has had a growth spurt too, but in a different direction.

Creative stacking

The kids now have chores to do every week. One such chore is to unload the dishwasher and put away the dishes. They know fully well where things belong, but in their effort to rush through the experience, they just stash dishes how and where they feel.

I don't know who put this baking dish away. I won't even ask because both will deny it. But I cracked up when I opened the cabinet!

Cutting edge

I have finally mowed the lawn.

It's a big deal to me. I never had to mow lawns.... well save one time when I was around 15. I had to mow the lawn and broke out in a rash. THANK GOD for that!!! I used that excuse up until yesterday. "Can't mow the lawn; makes me break out in a rash. Seriously, you can ask my mom."

But I am on my own now. I am an adult. I am a grown up. I need to learn to do for myself. That's one of the reasons for separating right? Hell yes.

So I get the lawnmower in the "settlement", mainly because he has no where to keep it and why not have it here? I can use it for sure! I have to keep up the yard.

The problem is that I am... well was.... afraid of the lawnmower. David showed me how to use it.... where to move the throttle, make sure it has gas, etc. No problem. Except when I went to start it.

I was gonna start it up and mow. Show everyone. I can mow!! I proudly wheeled the lawn mower out of the garage and into the yard. I pulled the cord.... ripped the cord...... I don't know, but I could NOT get the motor to turn. I was embarrassed that I couldn't get it to start so I wheeled it back into the garage and promptly decided to think about that problem later.

Well later turned into yesterday. The yard was overgrown and was getting worse. David had mowed the front yard a couple weeks prior so it was not as thick. But the rest of the yard... side and back... was very thick. Yes I know you are probably thinking at this point well WHY was David mowing my yard? Well in my defense, he did it while I was working out. He came over when I was gone to my work out and when I got back, he was mowing. That's the type of guy he is. But I digress.

So I was NOT gonna ask David to mow my lawn. No, it was my responsibility. Either I pay someone to do it or figure out how to start that mower.

I decided that I was going to start the mower because I am not any different than any other woman who I have EVER seen mowing the lawn.. well, different except for the fact I have never mowed.

I got gas in the can and poured it into the lawnmower. I needed a funnel so I created one from a water bottle that Jessie uses to "cook" with outside. I filled the tank. I pulled the cord as hard as I could. Nothing. I pulled again. Nothing.

I pulled again, the hardest yet...... and the motor kicked over. It was a sound of joy; a sound of "freedom", if you will. A sound that I KNOW my cousin Sarah will relate to.... In any case, I took off and mowed the crap out of my yard.

I feel so good about myself. I have mastered that lawn mower. The only thing now is that I get Jason used to it because HE is gonna be doing the lawn mowing. I break out in a rash after all.

Feeling flushed

I really hate modern conveniences sometimes. You may recall my run in with self checkouts. Yesterday I went to the movies with my cousin Sarah. We went to see Evan Almighty, which is extremely funny by the way. Before the movie began I went to the bathroom. I always do this even if I don't have to go because I don't want to "have to go" during the movie. When I got in the stall I noticed water drops on the seat. I knew it was water and not pee because the toilets are self-flushing and each time the toilet flushes, it flushes with such power that it splashes water up onto the seat.

There is nothing I hate worse than sitting down on a wet toilet seat! It makes my underwear stick to me and just feels uncomfortable; not to mention unclean!

So I got some toilet paper, leaned over, and dried off the seat. As I stood up, undid my shorts, and proceeded to sit down, the toilet flushed sending water splashing up all over my rump and I was wetter than if I had just left well enough alone! Sometimes I really hate modern conveniences.

Love Rollercoaster

This morning as I pulled up to Jessie's school to drop her off, the song "Love Rollercoaster," by the Ohio Players came on the radio. "Oh!," I exclaimed, "I haven't heard this song since I was 12!!"

(Actually I was 12 when it came out... I found out later it came out in 1975.)

I immediately turned up the volume and began singing and moving to the beat. I was flooded with memories from that period of my life. Funny how a song can do that.

As I neared the drop off location, I noticed Jessie staring at me with a half grin, half puzzled expression. She was staring as if she didn't recognize the person who was driving. I looked back at her with a big grin and continued my performance. As I pulled up next to the teacher who would open the door to let her out of the car, she looked at me again and, without saying a word, reached over and turned the volume down.

Then she got out of the car.

Water thoughts

My building at work is being renovated on the outside. Today I was watching a guy from the window next to the bathroom. He was pressure washing a wall that was totally covered with scum. As I watched him, I thought at first what an awesome job it would be to just stand there and blast away scum with water. He moved his wand up and down, sideways, back and forth.... always in either vertical or horizontal strokes. I thought about how long it would take him to finish the wall as the spray nozzle was not that wide. Probably at least most of the day.

As I continued to watch him, totally forgetting why I went down to the bathroom, I began to think how this job would not be fun. I mean he's standing there holding the pressure washer up in the air. Has to hurt after awhile. And the nozzle being kind of small, I bet he wanted to get done quickly. And how tedious to just spray left to right or top to bottom.

After a few more minutes he began looping the nozzle making random swirls almost as if he was writing his name in cursive. I smiled very big to myself and went into the bathroom.

Trash talk

My house is easy to find. It's the one with the microwave in the front yard.

A couple weeks ago, my microwave died. I went to Goodwill and found a very nice one.... better actually.... for $9.99. I tested it out right there in the store and bought it. I took the old one out to the road thinking that the garbage truck would collect it. Well they won't. I am paying almost $50.00 every three months for garbage pick up but they won't take the microwave. They will pick up TVs apparently because I see tons of TVs left by the road and they disappear after a week or so. But maybe people are getting them, I don't know.

Anyway I was informed that trash pickup does not include microwaves so there it sits. At first it was by the side of the road, but now it's been rolled down the hill a little ways into my yard. No doubt by my lovely daughter.

I'm going to have to take it to the county landfill..... sometime.

Ramblings

I stopped to get the kids a pizza from Hungry Howies today on the way home from work. You can get a large pepperoni for less than $7.00 if you pick it up in person. It wouldn't be ready for 10 minutes so I decided to walk over to Publix. On the way, I noticed a very large truck... an expensive looking Dodge Ram, turbo diesel, parked near the sidewalk. It was running but no one was inside. I assumed as I passed by that the owner had run into the restaurant it was parked in front of and would be back momentarily. Why else would someone leave their truck running?

About 10 minutes later, on my way back from Publix, I walked past the truck again. It was still running and there was still no one in it. It kind of pissed me off because this truck was very big. I mean the hood was a tall as I am. No shit. It was huge. What a waste of gas.


The other day while on my walk, I noticed a woman in the near distance checking her mailbox. She was standing there with a plastic bag (the kind you get at grocery stores) stuffing the contents of her mailbox into it. As I passed her I noticed the mailbox was crammed FULL of mail. I thought what a great idea it was to just throw your junk mail away right there... it's kind of like deleting your junk email right there in your inbox!


I notice vehicles in traffic that are clustered together. Sometimes I'll pull up to a red light and all the vehicles around me will be white. Sometimes all red. Sometimes I'm driving in traffic and notice I'm surrounded by all trucks. It happens all the time. What does it mean? Does anyone else notice this?

The grill that was

This morning David was telling me he had smoked some Mackerel on his new grill.

"What do you mean new grill?"

"Why did you get a new grill?" I asked in disbelief. After all he kept our old one... the one I found on the side of the road.

"I found it on the side of the road," he replied.

"WHAT????," I said. I couldn't believe he found a grill that way!

So I told him I wanted the old one because, after all, I was the one who found it!! Can't wait to do a steak!!

Quiz

Are You Gay?

Take the Quiz. Find Out Free!

Okay I just saw this on a website and had to post it here. I am still laughing.

The price of technology

I had this brilliant idea that I was gonna password protect my computer in order to limit Jason's use. I've been doing major head butting with Jason over the amount of time he spends playing this one game, Runescape. With password protection he would not be able to log on to the computer without me putting in the password for him... and then I could better police his use. What an awesome solution.. why didn't I think of this sooner!!

I mentioned it to David and he got the instructions up on the screen for me to read. So I proceeded to set up the password, verify the password, and type in a hint.... all the while a little voice was nagging at me in the back of my head... don't do it.

After I followed the instructions, I rebooted the computer. The password box popped up. It asked for "Name" and "Password." Name? Name?? The instructions didn't say anything about putting in a name. I don't what name it wants!!

Well the computer was originally set up under David's name so I entered "David Schuessler" and my password. Nothing. The little log in box shook from side to side to say nope that's not correct. I tried david schuessler, dschuessler, i tried my name, i tried no name... I tried EVERYTHING. David happened to over doing laundry so I screamed for him to come to me. He tried and tried and nothing would work. I couldn't get into my own computer!! Jason in the meantime lurked around snickering, "See mom, I knew you shouldn't have tried to do that!"

David said we could boot the computer with the system disks and asked where they were. "System disks? I don't have any system disks. They are at your house", I exclaimed. So I had to drive 20 miles round trip to get them.

When I got back, we booted using the system disks. It didn't just start up the computer and I had hoped it would. Instead we had to reinstall the operating system and in the process everything I had on my desktop was erased. All my iTunes were erased, all the photos in iPhoto were gone (hundreds)... everything.. my browser bookmarks were gone, my email addresses were gone. YEARS of my life had vanished.

I'm so bummed but at least I can get into my computer now... and no I don't have password protection set up and won't any time soon!

Here we go again...

Jason is back in a cast. He was still having pain in his foot and was insisting it felt like it was still broken. So after a respectable amount of parental ignoring, I made him an appointment with the orthopedic center for this morning. I dropped him off on my way to work and David dealt with the appointment process. He will be in this beautiful lime green cast for another four weeks. I truly think he's not going to stop until he gets to have every color of cast available.

I took this picture of him mainly to show off his cast but as I was viewing it, getting ready to upload it, I realized something extraordinary. This is truly him in his natural state. Look carefully... he's sitting on the couch, junk food within arm's reach, talking on the phone while at the same time playing his PSP with an ear piece that allows him to interact with a friend remotely... yes he's also talking to another friend over his PSP at the same time. The only thing out of character here is the fact that he's not sitting in front of this computer playing Runescape... and that's only because I made him get off so I could write this blog.

The grill that wasn't

I almost snagged me a free grill yesterday. I miss not having a grill but I was never the griller at home... it was always David, so I didn't even try to ask for it when I moved. I'm scared to grill anything anyway and that's why I haven't had a steak since I moved out.

I first saw the grill driving home with Jason. It had been left out on the side of the road with the trash. I was as much excited about making this treasure mine as he was mortified that his mother would actually even consider taking it! So, for his sake, I drove on past with the intention of coming back to get it later.

When I went for my walk yesterday evening, it was still there so I got a first hand look at it. It was a gas grill, some off-brand, that was missing its gassy parts but was certainly usable for charcoal, which I prefer anyway. It had the main grill plus an upper shelf for veggies I suppose. And it had two side shelves for putting utensils on, etc. It needed a good cleaning and probably some paint but hey, it was there for the taking.

I stared at it for a few minutes pondering how I was going to get it home. I didn't want to be too obvious because there was a neighbor nearby mowing his yard. It was too big to fit in the Jeep and I would have to go back home to get the Jeep anyway. So I decided to get it on the way home from walking... I would just roll it up the street behind me.

I found another grill this way about 10 years ago. I was driving home and noticed a man wheeling a grill toward the side of the road. "I bet he's throwing that away," I thought to myself as I passed by him. "I'm gonna come back and get it after I get home." But something made me change my mind so I turned around right then and went back. I'm glad I did too because the other things he left were snatched up within an hour. I asked the man if he was throwing the grill away and he said he was and told me I could have it. It was a brand new Weber charcoal grill.. only a few months old. He explained that he had purchased it thinking he would like charcoal but hated it, so he went out and bought a gas grill.

He helped me load it into the car and I scurried home with my awesome find laughing the entire way.

I was laughing because we had just moved into this house a few months earlier and had left our grill at our previous house (it was permanently attached to the deck). David had been using our smoker as a grill which, as you can imagine, made every thing taste smoked. Well I had had enough of the smokey tasting food and told him I wanted to get a grill. He said the only way I was gonna get a new grill was to find one on the side of the road!

So as I walked I thought about my good fortune at finding this grill and about all the good foods I was going to learn to cook. I made my way back up the street and readied myself for pulling the grill behind me. But as I approached its location I noticed it was gone. Someone had snagged it before me!!! I looked around as discreetly as possible and noticed it at the neighbor's house... the same neighbor who was mowing his lawn.

Birthday

Last Thursday was the 15th anniversary of my 29th birthday. To celebrate I didn't do anything different than any other day. The morning went smooth getting the kids ready for school except we did have a slight problem with Spot.

Spot does not like to go out unless it's his idea and he will do anything he can to avoid it. While Jason was busy terrorizing Stinky with a homemade paper popper, I let Spot out (his idea). That was too easy I thought to myself as I focused on getting a cringing Stinky out from under my bed and scolding Jason for sending him there. As I put Stinky out the back door, Spot ran back in and it took the three of us a good five minutes to get him and put him out.... but not without first having to chase him from one end of the house to the other. First he ran underneath the coffee table, then, as Jessica closed in on him, he jumped onto the back of the couch. From there he ran down the hall and under my bed (his usual hiding place), but I was too quick and was able to shoo him out before he got too far underneath. From there he ran back down the hall toward the living room as I was yelling to Jessica to close all the doors! With Jason on his heels, he bounded into the living room, running around the perimeter a few times before hurdling the couch and dodging right past Jason who was trying his best to block the hallway entrance with his body. But Spot quickly discovered the doors were closed and proceeded back towards the living room. This time I was ready and scooped him up. After a few meows of protest, he was gently tossed out the door and we all breathed a sigh of relief. I'm sure he had a smile on his face as he reflected on what he just put three humans through and I fully expected to find a pile of cat poop as a token of his displeasure.

The highlight of my birthday was going to soccer practice that evening. We go usually even though Jason is unable to practice since I'm the treasurer and Jessica likes to play with her friends. Gives me some adults to talk to also. Anyway, I was sitting talking with a friend and got beaned in the forehead with a soccer ball traveling approximately 90 MPH. I was okay, other than a slight headache, but the woman sitting next to me got hit by the same ball on the side of her face... ouch!

Update on Laurie
She is out of the hospital... released on my birthday. I talked to her on Saturday. She sounded in good spirits and, best of all, sounded like herself, i.e., not like she'd been drinking. I hope this was a wake up call for her.

Towels

My cousin Sarah gave me two blue towels for my birthday. Never have I been so excited to receive a present. We were talking about towels a week or so ago and I had mentioned that I needed some.

I've had my towels since 1990... and until today we only had two good ones (which were permanently borrowed from others). The majority of our towels, however, are on their last leg. They are ripped, torn, and have been washed so many times you can see through them.

I keep meaning to buy new towels but never remember I need them until I'm actually drying off with one and look down to find threads stuck to me.

Towels are not something I can easily justify buying though. It's like they are a luxury item and there is always something else more pressing I need to spend my money on.

So thank you for the towels Sarah, I really appreciate the thought.

Thanks

Curves

I've really been enjoying going to my new Curves location. Everything is better than the previous one: bigger space, better hours, more equipment, use of hand weights, free pilates classes to members, incentives like t-shirts, etc. And one of the employees will come sit in the middle of the room and read or talk to us while we are exercising which makes it go by so much quicker! It's just all the way around better!

I noticed that they didn't take out my debit payment for January when I transferred so I inquired and was told the payment would come out February 9. So I waited. As of last Friday the debit still had not been made so I called to ask about it and was told to call back Monday between 8-10 am to talk with Denise (the owner).

So I called Monday and was told that Denise had not come in yet but someone would be back in touch by the end of the day. When I went to work out yesterday I found out that Denise had died.. DIED!! I had never seen or met her but it was shocking nonetheless. She was only 45.

I don't know what's going to happen to this location now. Her husband does the books but might not want to continue the business. I hope he does though because it's really a nice place.

I still don't know when they will take the debit out though.

Laurie

Laurie is in the hospital.

I knew this day was gonna come.

I prepared myself for it over and over. But I wasn't prepared.

She has pancreatitis, which is an inflamation/infection of the pancreas. She already has liver problems and she's an alcoholic. Not a good combination.

She's apparently been ill for a while. Bradley (her boyfriend) and his family (whom they live with) had been trying to get her to go to the doctor for months. But she wouldn't. Stubborn.

She progressively worsened to the point of not being able to hold any food down; could barely talk, barely walk. They said she hadn't had a drink in a week.

She was admitted to the hospital sometime Saturday night after midnight. Daddy called me yesterday morning to tell me she was in ICU. He had no real information, only what Bradley's sister Beth could tell him which wasn't much. They are not family, so the hospital would not release any information to them until permission was obtained from Laurie and a "passcode" issued.

I got Beth's number from him and immediately called her. She told me the same thing, nothing really. I got the hospital number from her. She told me the hospital would not give me any information over the phone without permission but I called anyway.

I found out that Laurie was not in ICU, but CCU instead (critical care unit). Not sure if that's better or worse. I was transferred to the waiting room. After going through the whole spiel of how I was her sister and was in Florida and she had no family up there, only her boyfriend and his family, the lady said she couldn't do anything because she was in the waiting room and I would need to talk to a nurse. Can you transfer me to the nurses station? No ma'am.

So I hung up and called back. This time I reached the nurses station but they wouldn't tell me anything. Someone had to physically visit Laurie and talk to the nurse about getting a passcode. Bradley and his other sister Kim were already on their way to visit her. Laurie would have to give permission for her information to be released to Bradley. So I hung up and waited.

I finally heard from Kim and got the passcode. I called and spoke with a nurse and found out she has pancreatitis. She was severely dehydrated and was being given intravenous fluids and pain medication... resting. I was unable to talk to her so I left a message with the nurse and asked her to please let Laurie know that I called and that we knew what was happening.

I know this a treatable thing and she'll be okay. But it's gonna happen again. She's not going to stop drinking. Stubborn.

I'm preparing myself for it. But I won't be prepared.

Cast off

Jason's cast came off yesterday. Now he has to wear heel inserts in his shoes for an unspecified amount of time. He hates the inserts because his shoes are tight and they cause his toes to be crammed into the front of his shoe. I told him I'd buy him some new shoes (needs them anyway), but Walmart or Payless are not good enough for him. I imagine he'll need to get a job or else he'll be walking around in socks soon.

He cannot play any sports for another month, so basically I'm giving up on this soccer season!

We've all gotten so used to seeing Jason in a cast that he kind of looks abnormal without one. Yesterday when I asked Jessica if she noticed anything different about him, she asked if he'd had a hair cut!

Valentines Day

Had a good Valentine's Day. I bought the kids some cute chocolate packages at Target last month and hid them in the kitchen cabinet (higher than even I could see into). Jason's was a chocolate bar with xoxo engraved in it and Jessica's was a purse-shaped box containing four mini chocolates (cute). It took exactly one week for Jessica to find them but they waited patiently for yesterday.

Jessica made me a card. Two actually. One inside the other. So sweet. One of them contained two heart pockets. Inside each pocket were smaller heart coupons that said "make bed," "wash dishes," "put away dishes," "free," and "make up." I noticed that the "make up" heart was only in her pocket and chuckled to myself at her anticipation of our fighting! Jason had no clue she made these "chore" cards and as she was explaining that one pocket of coupons was for her and one was for him, he kept groaning "oh this is not a good idea!"

I think it's a great idea and I intend to use them... especially the "free" one!

Box of catfood

Yesterday I came upon Jessica sitting on the kitchen floor arranging the catfood in this pattern. I told her I didn't mind just as long as she cleaned it up. But she didn't have much to clean up because Spot ate most of it.

Beware of men in kilts

Okay, sorry for my posting procrastination and thank you to those who have reminded me that I haven't posted about this yet... (seriously I keep forgetting anyone reads this stuff).

Since my "new" life began, I've had little time to myself. I'm learning that it's hard not having another parent around to take over when the kids are driving you insane. Yes, I realize that's part of single parenting... it's just that I hadn't really thought about that part.

I decided that I needed a break from the kids. I needed to get out and do something... meet new people (after all that is one of my goals for myself). So I made plans to go out for drinks with a co-worker. It's been ages since I went out to a bar and there was no way I was going to go out by myself so I recruited Kerri from work. I arranged for the kids to spend Saturday night with David. I would have total freedom until Sunday morning around 10:00 a.m. I anticipated my night out all week and when Saturday morning arrived I delivered the kids promptly at 9:00 a.m. They weren't thrilled about going mainly because there's nothing for them to do, but go they did. Now I could do anything I wanted for the whole day! So what did I do? I went home and cleaned the house.

I stressed about what I should wear all day, changing clothes at least three times. I finally decided on a black and white sweater, jeans, and my brown suede shoes (didn't want to wear anything with heels in the event I get drunk and fall flat on my face!).

Our plans were to go out for dinner and arrive at the bar at around 9:30. Kerri would meet me at my house and we would ride together. Then she would spend the night so she wouldn't have to drive home. Kerri arrived at my house at around 7:15 and we had a beer and talked for about an hour. Before leaving for dinner, we decided to put on some of my phermone perfume (my passion party purchase) just to see if it would have any effect on unsuspecting men. This stuff is supposed to enhance your natural phermones... your "scent", which is what attracts the opposite sex.

So we doused ourselves up and we went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. We were seated in a booth with a very wobbly table. The lady who sat us came back with some napkins and began stuffing them under the table leg but it wasn't working... mainly because it was the back leg they needed to be under. Then our very cute Mexican waiter arrived and said he knew how to fix the table... he said that was "what Mexicans did" (we laughed). I had to get out of my side of the booth to let him in so I went to the bathroom. I told Kerri to order me a diet coke if I wasn't back in time. So the waiter fixed the table and when I got back to the booth there were 2 very large margaritas sitting at our table. I sat down and looked at Kerri. She said she got scared and didn't know what to order so she ordered margaritas because they were two for one. I've never had a margarita but I know enough to know they contain alcohol! I took a sip and almost choked.. it was very strong. I looked at her and said, I'm sorry but if I drink this I'll never make it to the bar. We ended up leaving them intact for the most part and drinking water with our dinner. Every time the waiter came to our table he acted nervous and fumbled or dropped things (one thing being margarita all over my leg but luckily my lap napkin caught most of it!). We surmised that the phermones were affecting him but he may have just been clumsy.

So off to the bar we went, but first we put on more phermone perfume. When we arrived at the bar (lounge actually), the band was in the middle of their first set. It was about 10 pm. There was no where to sit so we just stood in the corner and looked obviously stupid. Then Kerri decided to go outside for a smoke and I went with her. It was freezing cold out there. (Note: the last time I was in a bar, you could smoke inside). When we came back in we were able to snag two seats at the bar. The seats swiveled so we were able to sit facing the band and watch all the drunks dancing and conversing.

And there were plenty of drunks... namely several men wearing kilts. We figured they must have attended some dinner function at the adjoining restaurant earlier in the evening and came over after that party broke up. There was this incredibly tall guy with a tiny head (reminded me of Fred Flintstone in a way) also in a kilt dancing with everyone. He strode past us several times without noticing us. We ordered a beer and began to chat over the incredibly loud but good band while watching people dance. Eventually the tall guy in the kilt ended up talking to some women who were sitting next to us. He turned around with his back to one of the women and I happened to catch his eye just as she sprayed something aerosol toward the back of his head. He looked at me as I said (knowing he couldn't hear me because of the band) that "she just sprayed your head." Well of course he didn't hear me so he came over and leaned down and I repeated what I had said. He asked what it was and I told him it smelled like perfume but then I realized it was hair spray. Well that did it. He got too close to that phermone stuff. He left but then returned and asked me to dance. I politely declined and told him I wasn't ready to dance; that I had to have more alcohol in me before that would happen. Well he was put off and he walked away rolling his eyes. No biggie I thought and went back to talking to Kerri. But he kept coming back. At one point Kerri went to the bathroom leaving me alone. I knew he would come over and sure enough he did. He was very persistent but he was polite. He kept telling me that I "was a lady of integrity and honor and he saluted me." He said this to me at least three times during the night. Then he said I looked like Doreen and Kerri busted out laughing which offended him.

In between dealing with him we saw several amusing sights. At one point a couple came in.. an older couple and they were standing right in front of us. The woman was groping the man's butt which cracked us up immensely. Then there was this woman, much younger, who was inappropriately dressed and dancing with everyone, but she had no rhythm. As she was coming off the dance floor, her breast flopped out of her halter top giving all the men who were ogling her a jolly!

We had two more beers and then decided we were both tired so we went home. All in all we had a great time. I learned that I don't really miss the bar scene. I learned that that phermone stuff actually works. And I learned to beware tall men wearing kilts.

One month!!

Well I've officially made it through my first month. It hasn't been easy but it hasn't been that hard either. We've done well with our budget I think. I'll look over my finances later tonight, but I think I actually have some money left over to save! It's been an emotional, scary, exciting, exhausting month and I'm proud of myself for getting through it. I'm proud of the kids for getting through it as well.

Week from hell

I am having the worst week with Jessica. She goes through these spurts.. a week or a few days where she is unbearable. She won't follow directions, she won't do what I ask until I've lost my temper and she is at the point of receiving a punishment, she won't listen. It's awful. She's always been like this and I don't handle it well. Eventually her blatant defiance subsides and she becomes the model child; sometimes even doing chores I don't ask her to do.

Jason and Jessica have been fighting like cats and dogs this week. I mean they fight with each other all the time and it's normal. Laurie and I did it. But this week has been worse than normal. What happens is that I get home from work, walk through the door exhausted (which is my normal state these days) and there they go... "Mommy, Jason did this," or "Mommy, Jessica won't give me that." Nothing I say makes a difference. I've tried to get them to talk out their disputes rationally... we all sit down on the couch and each person gets to have their say... doesn't work. They won't stop. Then they suck me into their dispute and I end up getting angry, yelling, and generally losing it. I know this is not the way to deal with it; yet I can't stop.

Today, it happened again. I had decided before walking through the door that I was going to have a pleasant evening. I wasn't going to lose my temper. So when they began their petty bickering, I went about my business washing the dishes. When they realized I wasn't going to come and break them up, they began to call me. I told them that I wasn't going to get involved. I ignored them. They continued their bickering to the point where they began slapping each other. I walked into the living room and found them both on the floor crying, holding body parts as if they would fall off if they let go. I walked past them, down the hall and into my bedroom. I closed the door, locked it, and proceeded to check my email. After a minute or two, I could tell the crying had stopped. In fact I heard laughing. Awesome I thought to myself... my reverse psychology or whatever it's called is working. Well that was short-lived. After I went back into the kitchen to finish the dishes, they started up again. This time Jason was on the computer and Jessica wanted to be on it at the same time. They kept screaming my name. I thought to myself, how am I going to deal with this? I could feel my blood pressure rising... stress settling in AGAIN. Then a light bulb went off! I knew what I was going to do.

So I got 4 pieces of notebook paper (2 for each child). At the top of one sheet, I wrote "I will not fight with Jessica", "I will not fight with Jason", respectively and then wrote their name at the top of the other sheet. I walked calmly down the hall to my bedroom. They were still yelling my name. Jessica, sitting on the floor leading against my closet door, was copying everything Jason said except way louder (she has some lungs I tell you). I calmly took Jessica by the hand and told her to come with me. They both stopped dead in their tracks and looked at each other. I handed Jessica her sheets. Then I handed Jason his. You will both write the sentence written at the top of the sheet on each line of these 2 sheets of notebook paper, front and back.

They were in disbelief. Jason went into his room and closed the door. Jessica sat down in the doorway to her room. I told her (but loud enough so he could here) that if there were no more problems, I might let them stay up past 8:00 tonight.

It's been very quiet, except for the occasional complaint from Jessica that her hand hurts (she started after the 10th sentence I believe). I went into the kitchen and poured myself some diet coke (generic brand) and got 3 chocolate chip cookies. I sat down on the couch and looked for the remote. FINALLY, I would get to relax!!! Well, I couldn't find the remote... still can't find it. Neither will own up to losing it. Eventually it will turn up. After the kids finished, they proudly showed me their sentences. It was almost as if they enjoyed it. How awesome was this? I am the "man" I thought to myself. I've finally got the edge over them. Then they both left and proceed to get into another fight.

All this before 6:00 p.m.


Oh, forgot to mention, when I got home, I walked into the kitchen and noticed black stuff all over the floor, then I noticed a paper towel with black (soot) on it soaking wet in the sink. ??? What's up, I thought. Then I heard the vacuum cleaner running. Wow, I thought to myself, my children are actually cleaning up!!! How awesome is that? No, wait a minute this can't be for real. I walked into the living room to find Jessica sitting on the hearth of the fireplace VACUUMING it out. Oh God, I thought. We had just had a fire last night so there were ashes. How much actually went into the vacuum? Turns out, however, that she did have the foresight to shovel the ashes out before vacuuming and she proudly showed me what she used... a decorative container I keep in my bedroom.

Egg zactly

Jason is into making his own egg salad. This is how he peels a hard boiled egg...



The shell is literally in one piece!








This is how I peel a hard boiled egg...

Spot's Revenge

Since they're still relatively new to the house and since it's been pretty cold, I've been letting Spot and Stinky stay in at night. Stinky is no problem. He sleeps all night. His internal clock is set for 5:00 a.m. (that's when I get up during the week) and it's only really a problem on the weekend. Spot, on the other hand, has been driving me nuts. He wakes me up at 3:00 a.m. every night to go out. If I try to ignore him he gets louder. I sleep with my door closed and he will sit outside it and meow, howl actually, until I comply with his demands.

Last night I decided to put him in the garage. I felt like it was a good compromise. He would be in a relatively warm location (better than outside) with a comforter and chair to sleep on and I would get some badly needed uninterrupted sleep.

Well Spot apparently wasn't thrilled with his sleeping arrangements. This morning while David was doing his laundry, he said he smelled poop in the garage but didn't see any. I thought to myself, Oh great, It'll probably take weeks to find it. Later on we discovered Spot's spot.... on the roof of my car!!

Tonight his butt is going outside!

Here we go again

Another cast

Jason has a broken foot... a tiny fracture near his ankle. The doctor said these types of breaks usually heal quickly but he needs to be in a cast for three weeks. Jason is taking it very well I must say. This cast is not as big, only coming up to just below his knee, and he can walk on it (no need for crutches).

He stepped in a hole during soccer practice (his second day back!) and twisted his ankle. He was in pain of course but after the first couple of days he didn't really complain. He walked home from school as usual (just over a mile) and ran around the house playing with Jessie, so when he complained the next week that he didn't want to go to soccer practice because his ankle hurt, I totally didn't believe him. I basically accused him of using his ankle as an excuse to get out of going. So to practice he went...during an especially grueling week where the boys did a lot of running. And he ran. On Thursday, he basically stood around and played goalie and I knew he was in pain. He told me again that his ankle hurt and that Coach Alex had told him not to come the following week. At that point I checked out his ankle area and it was swollen.

I took him to the doctor the following day. The doctor didn't believe it was broken because he was able to put weight on it, but sent us for x-rays as a precaution. The x-rays were negative for a break so he was then sent for an MRI last Monday to see if any ligaments might be torn. The MRI revealed the tiny fracture.

Boy do I feel like a terrible parent. Jason got to pick his cast color... this time neon orange. I like it better than the red he had previously.

Another door knob

It's been a few weeks since anything has broken around here so I should have seen this coming. Last Sunday I went to open my closet door but the door wouldn't open. The same thing had happened as with the entry closet door handle, except this time the handle turned, the door just wouldn't open. I couldn't believe it. My first thought was that all my clothes were in there and I had nothing to wear. Thank god I keep my pants and some sweatshirts in my dresser. Thank god I didn't put my shoes away on the closet shoe rack as I normally do (otherwise I would have had to wear my fuzzy bedroom slippers to work the next day). Thank god Stinky wasn't napping in there as he often does. Thank god Jessica wasn't playing in there as she often does. I called the management company emergency line and left a message. But it wasn't a true emergency and it was Sunday night so I didn't really expect anyone to come rushing out. I called again the next morning to report it, and when I got home from work the door had been fixed.

There are two other doors in this house that have the same type of door knob... the hall closet and the pantry... and, just as with the light bulbs, I'm fully expecting them to quit working at any time. The other day, the kids were playing hide and seek and Jessica went into the hall closet and closed the door. I panicked and made her get out immediately!

Home Sweet Home

Okay, I've finally got pictures of the new digs (and I now know why they wouldn't upload... because they were 17 inches wide... over 3.5 MB!). The pictures were taken the night we had our first fire.

No curtains yet, except the ones that came with the house which are not my style but better than nothing, but I think things are coming together nicely. I've still got pictures to hang in other areas of the house and the kids rooms to organize.



My cousin Sarah came over last Sunday to see the new place. She brought her camera (always has it with her) and took pictures to send to my step-grandma (her real grandma) Jocelyn. While she was over, I got her to fix my toilet seats!! She generously let me post this picture of her as proof. Yea Sarah. Thanks again.

Jason

Jason: Mommy, I know how to speak cat.

Mommy: Really, how?

Jason: Meow.


Jason telling me about his before-school homework class:

Mommy: How many kids are in the class?

Jason: About 20... no wait... 3

Mommy: Roaring with laughter. How can you go from 20 to 3?

Jason: Actually there's about 10.


This is what I live with.

Me date?

Okay, I know I shouldn't have done this but I joined a personals (dating) site. Not actually joined as far as subscribing (where you pay monthly) though. All I can basically do is look and send one free email to someone. I don't why the hell I did it because I don't want to date right now. Well, actually I do know why I did it.

I did it because I'm insane and going through a mid-life crisis. I'm almost 44, separated, and scared to death that I'm never going to meeting anyone else. The weird part is that I don't even want to deal with a relationship right now. Part of the reason for separating was to take responsibility for my life sans a man. You know, to learn how to do things on my own without depending on a man. But I can't help it. I think what I truly need right now is a man who is a friend. A friend to talk to and go out with occasionally. A friend with benefits. No drama, no strings. That's want I need.

I had to create a profile in order to look at other profiles of men so I bit the bullet and joined last Saturday. I didn't expect to get a response, but in less than 24 hours I had an email from a man. He told me he liked my profile and photo, included his phone number and said to call if I was interested. I couldn't believe it. I called my cousin Sarah in astonishment and told her all about it. It felt great to receive a response so soon... hey, I'm still attractive to men!!... but I was scared to death... why did I do this? EEK, I'm not ready for this.

The man met all my criteria... he was perfect except I wasn't attracted to him. He wasn't that ugly but I just wasn't attracted. I thought how shallow I was for forming my decision not to give this guy a chance based purely on his looks. Especially since he met all my other criteria. But I couldn't get past it. I didn't call him.

Since then I've had three more responses... none of them attractive to me! I found a profile of a guy I though was attractive and sent him what they call a teaser (one free email where you have to pick from a list of things to say) but he never responded. Oh well, I think I'm just a big bluffer anyway but we'll see what happens. It's kind of fun to check out guys from the privacy of your own home.

Woes

Dial-up Woes
I am so frustrated. I've been trying unsuccessfully to upload pictures for an entry on the house that I wrote last Friday (and I was so proud that I was finally getting motivated to post!!). They just won't upload! I don't think it's the size, although I am going to try making them smaller. I know it's because I have dial up now instead of high-speed internet. Dial up is so slow. I really got spoiled being on high-speed. It's terrible going back!! But, dial-up is what I can afford for now and it's definitely better than nothing! So, if changing the size doesn't work, I'll send the pictures to work and upload from there.

Ankle Woes
Jason's sprained his left ankle a week ago last Thursday... the second day of practice since being back from breaking his leg. He'd been walking and running around the house on it but complaining. I feel like such a bad mom because I made him go to practice this past week. He only seemed to really complain when it came time to go to practice, so normally I thought he was just trying to get out of it. I took him the doctor last Friday after really looking at his ankle. It was swollen and it looked like the muscles were poking out between the ankle bone and heel (outer part of foot).

They immediately sent us for x-rays even though the doctor didn't think there were any broken bones. The x-rays were negative thank goodness, but now I have to take him for an MRI tomorrow. Hopefully it is actually just a sprain and there are no torn ligaments. Ligaments take a long time to heal. Of course, that means no soccer for god knows how long. It's just so terrible!! What bad luck for him.

Passion party

Last Friday I went to a Passion Party. I had never heard this kind of party before but a woman I work with had been to one and was now having one of her own. They are like Tupperware parties except the "tupperware" is sex toys, lotions, etc. I was apprehensive about accepting the invitation at first because of the nature of merchandise, but I told her I'd think about it. And the more I thought about it, the better I liked the idea. I couldn't buy anything, of course, because I'm broke and told her that, but she said, well come anyway and have a good time. I decided that I needed to go and have a good time. I needed to step outside my box and do something different. Meet new people. After all, it's part of why I'm changing my life. So I accepted.

So I arranged to drop the kids off with David for a couple hours and went to the party. A few other women from work also went so I knew people. I'm very shy and it's hard for me to just show up at a party where I don't know anyone. Everyone was very nice though and I ended up seeing a woman I knew from soccer. Her daughter had played on Jason's team when he played rec soccer. We sat next to each other and talked. I ended up telling her that I had just separated from David and she told me she had gotten divorced last year. I was shocked. She and her husband seemed like they had the perfect marriage, perfect life. It just goes to show me that you can't EVER assume anything. Anway, she gave me her number and we are going to get together to talk. It's SO nice to have a resource... and a friend who knows what I'm going through.

Jessica, the passion party lady, was running late; however, there was another lady there (another party rep) who put out her merchandise on a table so we could look at it while we were waiting. I wanted to go and look at it SO bad but I was embarrassed. I could tell the other woman were also, so I creeped over to the table, beer in hand (I ended up having 2 beers and 2 wine coolers, and I don't drink at all!) and began looking at the non sexual merchandise... lotions, candles, etc. But there were dildos on the table at the other end. I couldn't resist the urge so I went to the end of the table for a closer look. Couldn't pick one up though.

Eventually Jessica showed up and the party got underway. We had to wear name tags with sexual adjectives thought up by other partiers. My name was Luscious Liane. There was also Kinky Kerri, and Horny Holly among the many. It was fun to think up the names... a great ice breaker! Then she began explaining the merchandise and passing it around for everyone to see up close. Some items we got to put on, like phermones, lotions, and edible pens, etc. Eventually she got around to the toys... many different kinds of items I won't describe. Let's just say it was very interesting!

After her part of the party was over, we went out into the garage where there was music and a pool table and talked. I left at about 9:30 and went to pick up the kids. It was a fun time and I'm really glad I went. Oh, and I did buy something but I'm not saying what!!

First fire

We had our first fire in the fireplace last night. Jessica had been bugging me to make a fire for days so they could toast marshmallows... but it's been 80 degrees outside. I knew this week would be cool so I promised her we'd do it on Wednesday. I was a little apprehensive because I have no experience with fireplaces and wasn't sure how to tell if the flue was open or even how to open it. But it was all very obvious and easy to figure out!



We got a wire coat hanger and Jason was able to cut it into 2 pieces and they used it to stick the marshmallows on. They had a blast and ate way too many. Jessica had a sugar rush and was bouncing all over the house but it was good times for them. The log was one of those fake ones you can buy from the store. It only cost $1.66 and all you do is just place it on the grate and light it where indicated. The wrapping burns off and acts as the lighter for the log. The log burned for about 2 1/2 hours but didn't not throw much heat.

Another one bites the dust

Yesterday the property management company sent out a landscaping crew to fix an existing drainage problem. Apparently after a heavy rain, water rushes down the driveway and into the garage. I have not experienced this problem yet, but it's good to know it's being taken care of. When I got home from work, I learned from Jessica that the landscaper guy accidentally cut the phone wire when digging the drainage trench, so we were without phone and dialup internet last night. The problem is now taken care of and thankfully I didn't have to deal with it.

Another light bulb burned out yesterday... this one in the refrigerator.

Home maintenance 101

I’m getting my feet wet with home maintenance. It seems that every light bulb in this house was installed at the same time because every day a light blows. First the porch light. I knew it worked because I saw it turn on when as I was discovering which switch turned on which light — this house many light switches. Later I went to turn it on and nothing. My first thought, if you can believe it, was that the light didn’t work… that the wiring must be bad. Stop laughing…. I’m new to this! Besides, the light fixture was kind of loose on the wall… but I knew it had worked previously. I thought maybe I imagined it and it never worked. After two days of worrying about whether to report it to the management company, it suddenly occurred to me that the bulb might be burned out. I guess you could say a light bulb went off over my head! So got my ladder, figured out how to remove the top of the light, changed the bulb and it worked!

Then the light in my bedroom burned out. It’s a ceiling fan light—the ball kind. So I got my ladder and tried to unscrew the little nubs they call screws. But they were so tight and small that I could get a grip on them. The only tools I had were a hammer, Phillips head screw driver and the other kind of screw driver (name?). Anyway, none of those would work… what could I use? I went and got my eyebrow tweasers, but they didn’t work. So I ended up going to Target to buy a pair of pliers. Then yesterday, when I got home from work I noticed one of my bathroom lights is burned out. I was too tired and mentally drained to deal with it so that’s a project for today.

I’ve already called the management company about some other repairs that needed to be done around here. The dryer line (vent, shaft, whatever it’s called) appears to be clogged with lint so it needs to be dealt with before I can hook up the dryer. I reported it earlier in the week and they said they’d send someone out Wednesday or Thursday. Well no one came. Yesterday Helen from the management company called to let me know someone was coming out that morning. I asked if anything would be left, paperwork-wise, indicating the work had been done and she said yes, a copy of the work order would be left.

I told her about another problem I had with the closet door the night before and asked if the repairman could also fix that. Somehow the front closet door got locked. My first thought was that one of the kids had accidentally locked it while playing hide and seek in the house. But they both denied doing it—but then they usually deny everything. I thought, well I’ll just stick a pin in the little hole that is usually on door knobs… but there was no hole. I went to look at the pantry door knob which is the same kind. No lock on the inside… and why would you put a lock on the inside of a closet door anyway? I thought some more and decided to unscrew the door knob and get it unlocked that way. No luck. I got the door knob off but I couldn’t get it to unlock AND to make matters worse, the inside door knob needs to be connected to the outside door knob, so I had to hold on to it to keep it from falling into the closet! Then I couldn’t put the other door knob back on for the same reason. ARGGHHH!!!

When I got home from work, the kids told me that a man had been there and he had fixed the closet door knob (as well as tightened my paper towel holder screws which I thought were tight enough). There was no work order left so I don’t know if the dryer shaft had been fixed and it was after hours so I couldn’t call to ask. I don’t know if I should hook up the dryer but I HAVE to do laundry this weekend. The towel bar and toilet paper holder that were loose and supposed to be fixed were still loose. And now the garage door will not respond to my car openers. It will only open when I press the opener installed in the garage by the kitchen door. I will have to call the management company AGAIN to get this dealt with and I know they are going to think I’m a difficult tenant.

TGIF

I'm sitting here at work. Don't feel like working although I have plenty to do. It's Friday and I've almost made it through my first week of separation. I've just read an entry in my cousin's blog about helping me move last Monday. Her perspective of the move being different than mine but very much on target. It was hard to read because as I was worrying about getting everything loaded and worried about this and that, she was seeing the pain on David's face as he moved me and the kids out of our home. While I was thinking about the excitement of starting my new life, she was seeing the sadness of a family breaking up.

Being the insecure being I am, I immediately began to doubt my decision to leave. But I have to get a grip and remember that this is for me. I didn't make this decision lightly. I've been unhappy for several years. So what do I do? Stay in a marriage where I'm unhappy knowing things will never change? I just can't. I only get one life and I don't want to live it unhappy. We have grown apart. I will always feel guilty about putting my wants and needs first... about breaking up my family... but I have to think positive and believe that my decision is sound and that things will work out. And they already are working out. David and I are on good terms. We're friends. We talk almost every day. He'll be coming over. He'll see the kids as much as he wants. Things will be as "normal" as possible. We just won't live together. It's hard for him now but things will get better. I truly believe that.

I am buying the kids "ordered" pizza tonight for a treat. If you pick up the pizza rather than having it delivered, it only costs $5.00.

Change is good

Jan 4
Today was a really good day. The kids got off to school with no major problems. Jessica was apprehensive about starting her new school and became even more so when she realized the kids were in the cafeteria instead of the playground because of the rainy weather. She quickly forgot about me though after she saw her friends Jessica and Sierra. Jason ended up walking to school in drizzling rain — a mile one way. I offered to drive him after I dropped Jessica off but when I returned to the house he was already gone. I caught up to him when he was almost at the school and offered him a ride but he refused. The kids’ schools are each about one mile from our house but each in a different direction.

The commute to work is about 17 miles. Only 2 more than my previous commute but it took me 45 minutes! Granted I left later than I usually will, but it was a long ride! I need to experiment with different routes. Unfortunately there are a lot of people living/commuting on this side of town and traffic is heavy all the time.

I had two pieces of good news today. First, I found out that my car rental reimbursement for a training I went to last October was never paid to me so I’ll be getting that in the next week or so. Second, my cousin Sarah has graciously agreed to adopt our two youngest cats, Tottie (named after a soccer player) and Misha. They are sisters and have never been separated. I call them the “twins” although they look nothing alike. I can’t take all our cats (we have 4) to this house and David won’t take any, so I have to find homes for them. I truly do not want to have to take them to the pound. It kills me to even think about it. I am so happy about this. Again, Sarah has been a lifesaver!

I have been invited to a passion party next Friday. It’s like one of those in-home sales deals (like Tupperware only much better!) where you look at the merchandise and you can order stuff. Only the merchandise is sex-related. I’m a little nervous about going but I think it will be fun and totally outside the “box” for me. I’ll go if I can get a sitter for the kids but I don’t plan on buying anything.

On the way home from work, I went by to see the Curves nearest to my house. I have to switch places since my old Curves location is too far away now. This Curves is totally awesome! They have more machines, more goodies, and they will be offering a beginning pilates class, free for members, in the next month or so.

When I got home, the kids gave me glowing reports about their schools. That, and a confession from Jessica that she had gotten mad with Jason and felt it necessary to take his Axe deodorant spray and spray half the doors in the house with it. It stunk in here for quite a while! When they weren't fighting with each other, they were VERY talkative, especially Jason. I just listened to them tell me all about their day and their teachers. It was so nice. It is encouraging to see Jason open up. He usually stays so closed off from everything. I’m hoping this is the new trend for him and not a fluke!

So far change is good.

Day 3

Jan 3
Went to register Jason at his Deerlake Middle School this morning. Jason is not doing well in school. He’s plenty smart but he doesn’t turn in his homework (he does it mind you, just doesn’t turn it in) and it’s caused him to receive F’s, much to the displeasure of his parents. I’m told this happens frequently with kids this age (boys mainly) and it helps to know he’s not the only kid in the world doing this, but it’s stressing me out! His test scores are low also, which isn’t good. I have a feeling changing schools will be a positive thing for him, and after we toured the school he perked up. It’s a very nice school with different rules… more lenient than Swift Creek. He can sit where he wants at lunch and he can take his backpack with him to his classes. He even thought his new planner was way cooler!

We met with the eighth grade counselor while Jessica sat in the lobby, highly put out that she couldn’t be in on the meeting. This counselor (Laura) is wonderful. She talked to Jason about how serious it was that he get motivated and that she was there to help him. I sat there and let her do the talking. Although David and I have said the same things to him countless times, he needed to hear this from the school. I could tell he was about to cry a couple of times but he kept it in. She explained that sometimes people can squeak by and get away with poor grades and work habits, especially when in sixth or seventh grade but because he would be going on to ninth grade—high school—it was a different ball of wax and if he didn’t work hard to pull himself out of this hole the school would have no choice but to retain him until he was “ready” to move on. I think it hit home with him. I hope so.

Later in the day, Jessica went to play over at her friend Jessica’s house. It was just Jason and me. Jason was in a decent mood given his normal sulky state. One of my goals of better parenting is to expect more from the kids with regard to cooking and cleaning. They are certainly old enough and they’ve helped in the past but not without complaining the entire time. I’m also showing them how to clean and fix things; explaining how things work so they can deal with issues when I’m not around. For instance, the toilet in their bathroom runs occasionally. I explained why it happens and how to fix it. This evening Jason helped me cook dinner… meatloaf, mashed potatoes (from scratch), peas and cornbread. Then he washed the dishes… not loading them in the dishwasher... but actually washed them by hand and he didn’t complain ONCE. It’s a miracle. I think I’m on to something!

Tomorrow is the first day for both at their new schools.

Change will do me good

Okay, it’s a new year and my life is totally changing. For reasons I won’t go into now, David and I have separated—totally my decision but I think it’s somewhat mutual. After 20 years with him, I’m now on my own… well on my own with 2 kids. We’ve moved to a house on a different side of town and the kids will be going to different schools. Much change. Much newness. It’s exciting, it’s scary, it’s sad, it’s awesome.

I have several new year’s resolutions… get my life in order, be a better parent, lose more weight, continue my exercise regimen, blah blah blah…. but the most important resolution I’ve made for 2007 is to chronicle my daily adventures. I will try to write every day, but make no promises.

Since today is actually January 3, I’ll recap my first 2 days…

Jan. 1
Moving day! Sunshine in the forecast (after a wet weekend). Most of the boxed items were already at the new house. We rented a U-Haul to move the big stuff… furniture, washer/dryer etc. That was an adventure in of itself. I reserved a 24-foot van. When we went to pick it up, the U-Haul lady told me it was stick shift. David was okay with stick shift but I could tell he wasn’t thrilled. Why didn’t they mention this when I made the reservation a month earlier? What if we couldn’t drive stick shift? Shame on you U-Haul. After seeing the size of the van, I decided maybe a 17-footer would be better… it was automatic. So we switched. The U-Haul lady wasn’t thrilled since she’d already processed the original order but she was very nice about it.

It rained in the morning but stopped luckily before any serious loading occurred. My cousin Sarah came to help. First she came late because she locked herself out of her house AND her car!! Then she informed me that she was strong enough to lift furniture (and is) but couldn’t grip anything. She was actually a big help but I told her she’d do anything to get out of helping me! David did most of the work... he knew how to move and he just took charge. I felt a little weird that he did most of the work but that’s how he is. He’s a good person… a good man. What man do you know who would actually help his wife move after she told him she didn’t want to be married anymore!

After returning the van, we took David back to the house. He’ll be living there until the place sells. Yes, living there without any furniture except 2 chairs and an entertainment center with TV, DVD player and movies, and an xBox. Sarah took Jessica and me out to lunch at Sonny’s BBQ. It was so good. She has been a miracle for me these last few months. A true friend… she listens to me and buys me food!! I owe her so much.

After lunch, Jessica and I went to the new house. Jason went to spend the night with his friends Sam and Ben. Jessica played in her room while I began unpacking and arranging things. Later we made chocolate chip muffins. It was a good day. Kind of sad, but exciting. I was worried about David being all by himself.

Jan 2
More unpacking. More arranging. Hung some pictures by MYSELF! A small achievement to most, but big for me. I don’t mean just putting a simple nail in the wall. I’m talking about full blown measuring and positioning and leveling. I had become accustomed to having David do things like this for me. All I had to do was tell him where I wanted it and he did the rest. I guess deep down I was scared I wouldn’t do it right, but I did it myself…. I measured twice and cut once so to speak and the pictures are hung!

Went to the old house to get some more things and pick up Jason. Jason has been very resistant to this change. Jessica is more like me. She’s not thrilled with it anymore than he is but she adapts to change quickly. Not Jason. He doesn’t like change at all. New house. New school. Life without seeing daddy every day. Not good for him. I asked him how he liked the furniture arrangement and he grumbled that he hated the house then disappeared into his room to play PSP or something. I worry that he will go deep into a shell or a depression… even worse than his normal teenage brooding. I am determined not to let that happen.

For dinner Jessica and I made spaghetti. Same old way. Hunts canned sauce, cheap hamburger... you know the kind with all the fat but this time with no mushrooms. Jason informed me that it was very good. Kind of surprising given that he always hates whatever we’re having for dinner!