Christmas Eve'ing

The fire is embers now and it's 9:30. It's been a great Christmas Eve. I was wondering how it would go. My son, who is in his adolescent funk..... and my daughter, who is in her pre-adolescent funk... experiencing our first Christmas Eve without daddy.

They didn't fight.

He was in a good mood. She was in a good mood.

We built a fire. We were going to go drive around and look at lights—me and Jessie, but Jason didn't want us to go... nor did he want to accompany; so Jessie agreed we could stay home.

They are in bed now and I have a lot to do.

Here are some pics of the night.








Jessie, in her room watching High School Musical 2.





Jason playing his PSP not wanting to be photographed.....








and running from me and my camera.














The kids played and had a pillow fight. Amazingly it didn't end with someone crying.






Jessie being the ham she is.























Our tree.

Dang it, you can't see the lights. It's a beautiful tree filled with memories and hopes.



It's been such a nice night.

No tools required

I wanted to get Dale a really good gift.

He said he wanted a Skil Saw, and I got him one, but I wanted to get him something else. Something he would like that he didn't ask for.

I had no clue what to get, so I asked his best friend Mike and he suggested a grill. What a great idea I thought. He needed a new grill. His old one was falling apart.

I went to Home Depot first and then Lowes to check out the inventory. Lowes had a nice gas grill. It was smaller than his old one, but very nice and in my price range. I decided to purchase it unassembled because I wasn't sure it would fit in my jeep, and, besides, the box said "No tools required."

How hard could that be?

I didn't get around to assembling it until the last minute. It was Thursday afternoon and the kids were going to David's. I had to assemble it now because I would be with Dale on Thursday and Friday and we had planned to exchange gifts on Saturday.

So it was 4:30 on Thursday afternoon and I had to leave to take the kids to David's at 5:40. That should be enough time to assemble the grill I thought.

I dragged the box into the living room (it was very heavy) and proceeded to unpack the pieces... pulling off cardboard and plastic and tossing it to the side. After I got all the pieces unloaded, it looked like a cardboard factory had exploded in my living room.

I was beginning to have doubts assembling this thing. I didn't realize there would be so many pieces. Then I saw the 2 bags containing all the screws, bolts, washers, etc. There must have been 100 of them.

I stared at the instructions in disbelief. What have I done? But I only had about 45 more minutes to spend before having to leave.

I set about trying to assemble the first 2 pieces and couldn't. I got half of it done but the other half wouldn't line up. In the meantime, the kids had taken over the box that everything came in and were in the process of fighting about who was gonna get inside.

By the time 5:40 rolled around, I was completely stressed out and had accomplished nothing. I couldn't even get past instruction #1. I decided to pack everything back into the box and take it back. I called Lowes and explained my problem to Brian, who said to just bring it back.

After spending another 5 minutes trying to get the kids out of the box, I began the process of trying to put all the pieces BACK into the box. I managed to get them back in, but it was nowhere near the same way they came out.

And, in the rush to get the car loaded and the kids out of the house, I forgot to bring the receipt. The guys at Lowe's were terrific, however. They took my box of parts and sent it back to be assembled and let me pick one from the inventory they had out front.... and they did it all so that no receipt was required. Thank goodness for that!

I took the grill over to Dale's Friday morning after he had left for work and set it next to his deck hoping that he would not notice it. He didn't. Then I wrapped up a note telling him to go look out his back deck. I gave it to him last night and he liked it, so it was all worth it.

Lessons learned: 1) NEVER buy anything like that unassembled; 2) If I ever do, NEVER wait until the last minute to assemble it.

Christmas queries

I stole this questionnaire thingy from my cousin's blog. She participates in a group of bloggers who do "Fun Mondays" which gives a topic and each person writes a blog about that topic as well as things like this. I have never participated in the past because -- as you well know -- I am not a reliable blogger. I liked this one however so here goes.....

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper usually because it's more cost effective; but I do the gift bag thing as well because I absolutely HATE to wrap presents. In fact, anyone who receives a present wrapped by me will notice how much unattention to detail it gets. Unlike David, who spends enormous amounts of time wrapping presents so that each crease and fold is perfect or my mom who uses the most beautiful paper and handmade bows and such to wrap presents that you don't even want to open because it is so pretty, I prefer to slap on the paper, tape the shit out of it and stick on a bow (a self-adhesive bow mind you). Sometimes I move the bow around or even attach two if I am feeling crazy. And forget the cute tag; I often just write directly on the present.

2. Tree--Real or Artificial? I have an artificial tree. I grew up with live trees and love them... the smell, the drama of getting it set up and decorated. But when the kids were very small, David and I bit the bullet and purchased an artificial tree. I felt like a traitor at first but the feeling soon wore off. After all, it is great to just drag it out of the closet and assemble it each year without worrying about having to pay $50+ for a tree that will begin to shed after a few weeks and leave little pieces of tree all over the carpet. Having said that, though, this tree is about 14 years old now and the color coded branch system used to assemble it is shot and it has begun to shed pieces of fake pine needles all over my carpet. Maybe next year I'll get a real one.

3. When do you put your Christmas tree up? Usually the second weekend in December. I cringe when I see trees up immediately after Thanksgiving and cringe even more so when I see the few that go up after Halloween. Yuck!

4. When do you take the tree down? Historically, around February but never before New Years. One year the tree stayed up until April. Neither David or I wanted to deal with taking it down and it was in an "out-of-the-way" spot so we just ignored it. This year, I will take down the tree right after New Years. It's quite big and the living room isn't!

5. Like egg nog? Nope.

6. Do you have a nativity scene? No.

7. Favorite gift received as a child? I can't remember a favorite gift but I always thought getting our stockings was the most magical thing about Christmas. My sister and I would wake up very early, like 4am early, and go get our stockings. We would then go to one or our bedrooms and check out the loot! Then we would go back to sleep until the parents woke up.

8. Hardest person to buy for? It used to be my uncle Gary, but we don't exchange gifts anymore. He is the type of person who never needs anything. This year it's Dale. I don't really know him well enough but have some ideas. For me, the hardest thing about buying presents is actually giving up what I get for people because I tend to buy things I like.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Jessica.

10. Worst Christmas gift? It was a country-style sort of wooden contraption for the bathroom that held rolls of toilet paper. God it was awful.

11. Mail or email a Christmas Card? Mail.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story. Never get tired of watching it... except on Christmas eve day when they show it for 24 hours straight.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually around mid-December. This year I am ahead of the game.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No, but I once received a present from my aunt that I gave her several years prior. I bought her this really neat ceramic bowl (well, neat to me) and about 4 years later she gave it back to me for Christmas. I guess she forgot I was the one who gave it to her. I didn't care though because, like I said, I tend to buy gifts that I personally like.

15. Favorite food to eat on Christmas? Collard greens, squash casserole, deviled eggs. I generally don't eat those foods unless it's Thanksgiving or Christmas.

16. Clear or colored tree lights? Colored, with NO blinking.

17. Favorite Christmas Song? Don't know the name, but it's the one that they use with the Garmin commercials (Crap that's so bad). I also LOVE the Christmas album by the Kingston Trio.

18. Travel during Christmas or Stay home? Stay home. My employer (FSU) closes the week between Christmas and New Years so it would be an optimal time to travel if I had the money.

19. Can you name Santa's reindeers? Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen, Rudolph...okay, I can't remember the stupid song.

20. Angel or Star on Tree top? Growing up, we always had a peace sign made out of tin foil on top of the tree. This year I have a dove or bird of peace-type ornament.

21. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning. Just like when I was young, Jason and Jessica are allowed to open one present on Christmas eve.... a present that I pick. When I was young, I always seemed to open underwear or PJs, but I have never done that to my kids! (sorry mom).

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? People. I am very antisocial. I can't stand crowds.

Eating my words

Okay, despite all my ranting, I put up Christmas lights today.

I wanted to outline the house with lights so I went to Walmart and bought a 96-foot strand of multi-colored lights. It was a toss up between multi-colored or all blue, which is a look I absolutely LOVE. I also bought a multi-colored net of lights for my hedge which runs the length of my house save the front door stoop and garage.

So I was ready to decorate. I eagerly opened the box and pulled out a tangle of lights. Seriously, it was a tangle. And I didn't know how it was supposed to untangle.

I struggled with it for about 10 minutes, pulling and twisting the wire until I had somewhat of a net in front of me.

Awesome.

I threw it over the hedge in triumph. Only it was way too small. It only covered about 1/4 of the hedge, at best.

This netting costs $9 a box and I estimate I will need at least 4 boxes to cover my hedge. Well that's not gonna happen... that would mean spending $36 just to cover the hedge. Instead, I draped the net of lights on the very small hedge in front of my garage.

It looks good, but it is highly inadequate compared to the houses around me. I have more decorating to do in order to "get off the porch and run with the big dogs."

I still have the 96-foot strand to put up. I think I will drape my big hedge rather than trying to outline the house.

God help me, I guess I am one of them.

Merry Christmas

There are at least 2 houses on my street that have Christmas lights up.

It's the beginning of December people.

And, in the Christmas spirit, a plethora of houses in my subdivision literally exploded into decoration (like popcorn) the day after Thanksgiving.

Merry Christmas.

Daily, I see cars with trees attached to their rooftops. The trees are prey shot in the hunt and brought back as trophy. I laugh to myself knowing that those trees will most likely be dead by Christmas. Needles everywhere.

How long does a cut tree last anyway? Don't answer that.

I absolutely HATE the commercialism of Christmas.

I hate it.

I hate it that people put up Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving.

I hate it that I have to hear commercials advertising the "After Thanksgiving Sale" 4 days prior.

I hate it that I will hear the "After Christmas" sales commercials on December 15th.

Not only do I hate... I refuse.

I refuse to get up at 4 am the day after Thanksgiving just so I can save 25%.
(Okay, I did this once. It was a mad house I tell you).

I refuse to be pressured to put my tree up any sooner than the second weekend in December.

I refuse to be told what decorations I can display on the outer regions of my house. I hear some subdivisions REQUIRE that you decorate with only white lights.

Merry Christmas.

Headliners

I've been collecting stupid or odd headlines for a while now. I'm sure I've missed a ton but I saw this one just now and had to post it:

• Divorce is bad for the environment, researchers say

Whaa?????

Here are some more (older ones) I've collected:

• Hugh Grant avoids charges over 'baked beans attack'
• Paula Abdul trips over dog, breaks nose
• Boom Separates From Base With Two People Inside
• Neighborhood May Be Infested With Meat-Eating Lizards
• O.C. Police Say Man Tried to Pay Store Tab With Pot
• Lawn-loving man gets life for murder
• Calif. town asking grandmothers to help fight gangs

I don't know. I think that the first one is my fav.

Out of the Mist

Driving up Bannerman on my way to work this morning I could see clear skies ahead. The view from my rear view mirror, however, was not good. It was ominous.... dark and dreary; and it was encroaching my rear quickly.

Very quickly.

It wasn't even dark when I turned from my subdivision onto Bannerman. But now, only 2 miles up the road, there was an eerie presence behind me.

I glanced back and forth from rear view to front view. It was so eerie. It reminded me of The Mist. I had just seen it yesterday. Supposed to be the "scariest" movie of the year. Well, it wasn't. It was kind of suspenseful but totally predictable.... and full of gore.

The Mist is about a mist that comes out of the mountains and overtakes a small town in Somewhere, USA. It is full of monsters spider-like creatures that devour the unsuspecting and stupid townfolk.

Anyway, I turned right onto Thomasville Road fully expecting the darkness that was behind me to now be on my right. But it wasn't. It was behind me still.

That is weird, I thought to myself. I looked to my right and it was basically clear.

I continued down Thomasville and the darkness followed but never overtook me.

After about 7 miles, the wind picked up and there was a flurry of leaves swirling all around the car. Violently swirling. Just like the monster bugs from The Mist.

And there was just a sprinkle of rain.

As I approached I-10, the wind died down. The leaves were gone. The darkness was gone.

Then it poured down rain.

The way we were

OMG, you have to read this blog:

http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/2007/10/strap-in-shut-up-and-hold-on-were-going.html.

I found out about it from my cousin Sarah's blog and she found out about it from her brother's blog. This is one of the funniest things I have ever read and so true..... I remember the 70s.

The dance

Dale and I went dancing the other night and we have video of it. I haven't danced in years but I think I held up pretty well.

Check it out.

Ima Weener!

I entered some mosaic pieces in the fair this year.... and WON!!

First place on the table and second on the wall hanging.


Feels good.

Mom entered a macrame piece also and won first place.

Questioning that that should not be

Every parent has asked some pretty weird questions of their children. I wish I had written down some of the doosies I have asked in the past; but better late than never.

Questions I asked today:

Why is there a lolly pop attached to the closet door?

I didn't get an answer, yet it is still there.


Why is there a Lazy Susan in the middle of my bedroom floor?

Jessica answers from her bedroom, "Sorry, I was sitting on it." Then, from the living room I hear Jason say, "Who is Susan?"

How

Okay, I'm talented but not this talented!

Your Native American Name Is...

Nina Tis-See-Woo-Na-Tis Your name means: Strong Woman Who Bathes With Her Knees

What's Your Native American Name?

Bathroom blues

Jessica got locked in the bathroom today.

I was in my bathroom at the time. Apparently she spit on Jason and Jason chased her into the bathroom and he pushed on the door or something... and it jammed.

Who knows what really happened. They both deny any wrong doing. All I know was that the door wouldn't open but the knob would turn. It was stuck just like my closet door.

It wasn't funny at first, but after a few minutes, I was cracking up as I listened to her going through stages.

First was awareness. Something was wrong with the door. I could hear her all the way in my bathroom... tugging, turning, rattling, banging.

Next was panic. She realized the door was not going to open; she couldn't get out. She began screaming that the door wouldn't open. I came as quickly as I could but couldn't get the door to open.

At this point she was freaking out. I got her calmed as best as I could and ran to call the management company.

Then came anger. As I was on the phone, I could hear her ranting and raving like a sailor... and I was in the kitchen. That picture of her on Halloween came to mind.

Next was acceptance. There was nothing to do but wait until the repairman arrived, so I began to shove magazines under the door. Anything that would fit. Her friend Rob called and, as I was telling him that she was stuck in the bathroom, she told me to put the phone up to the door. Amazingly she could hear him through the door so I leaned the phone on the floor so she could talk, laughing as I went for the camera. This was too funny.


Finally came relief. After about 30 minutes, the repairman arrived and freed her. She ran out of the bathroom and gave me a huge hug.

Like the other knobs, the insides were plastic and broken. The repairman replaced it with a metal one. I told the management company that they should let the owner know that all of the door knobs should be replaced (after all this has happened four times now) and the woman said she would put in a work order.

A taste of wine

Went to my first wine tasting last night.

I rarely drink wine.... and when I do, I get tipsy after a few sips. The last time I had any was a year ago at a workshop in Charleston, SC. The swanky hotel I stayed in had a wine and cheese reception every afternoon from 4:30 until 6:00 (after training had concluded for the day mind you) so I had a glass the second day I was there and found myself giggling uncontrollably while trying to compose an email to a coworker. The third day I had two glasses and proceeded to wander the streets of historic Charleston in search of food.

Anyway, Dale wanted to go and it seemed like something sophisticated grown-ups did, so I was game.

It was held at ABC Liquors near the FSU campus. We arrived around 6:30 p.m., paid the $5.00/per person entrance fee, and collected our wine glass (I thought it was neat that we got to keep our glass.).

We could barely get in the door. The store is not big at all and it was filled with college students! I should have known that offering tastes of different wines (and beer) for a meager $5.00 would attract them.

There were three stations serving various types of wine. I couldn't really see what was being offered though because of the crowds. Eventually, we pushed our way to a station in the back. The woman serving began to explain the different types of wines she had for the tasting. I know absolutely nothing about wine except that it comes in red and white, so I listened intently as she described what she had to offer... Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, Chablis. When she finished, she looked at me patiently waiting for my decision. I had no clue what she had just said.... it was like listening to a foreign language, so I told her I wanted something red. I am sure she thought I was the cultured one!

She poured a small amount of "something red" in my glass and I walked off down one of the many aisles filled with bottles. It was very dry but not bad. Dale joined me and we stood there away from the crowds. After I was finished, I decided to try a white wine. So I pushed my way back to the woman and told her I wanted to try something white. She proceeded to speak in her foreign language, describing the two white wines she had. Again, I had no clue what they were so I just pointed to the one on the left. It was much better.

After a few more minutes, we maneuvered around to another station that was serving different imported beers and Dale tried a few. After that we left. It was just too crowded and I was feeling kind of sick from the wine. We went to the Hobbit for wings and beer... more my style.

It was a neat experience and I am glad I went, but I don't know if I'll go to any more.

Mule Day

Dale, Jessica, and I went to Mule Day up in Calvary, GA, a few weekends ago. I hadn't been since I was a child, so I was excited to experience it with an adult perspective.

Dale, and others, told me that we needed to get there early... like 6:00 a.m. early.... in order to snag a good parking spot. So I set the alarm for 4:30 a.m. so we would have time to wake up and make the 30 minute drive up there. When the alarm went off, however, it was quickly reset for 6:00 a.m. It's just not right to get up that early on a Saturday!

We arrived around 8:00 a.m. and it was already pretty crowded. We paid $5.00 to park in the middle of a pecan orchard, but it was relatively close. We made our way down a narrow road toward a huge field filled with tents in the foreground and campers behind.

Mule Day was huge. It was totally different from my childhood recollection. All I remembered, actually, was seeing harnessed mules attached to a pole of some sort following a circle path beat into the dirt. They were grinding sugar cane into molasses.

I was hoping Jessica would get to see that as well, but there wasn't any sugar cane making going on; at least as far as I could tell. Instead, there were lots of food and craft booths and a stage where different groups of cloggers danced to what seemed to be the same song... something country.

People were selling everything from quilts, to Christmas ornaments, to hats, to beautiful fused glass (my personal favorite). Someone was actually selling a "bottle tree" which consisted of a pole with dowels extending off (like a tree) with plastic bottles stuck on the ends. Who would pay money for that? Dale wondered how bottle trees were grown so I told him they started out as baby bottles. [Okay, I know that was pretty bad].

We walked around until our feet hurt, stopping to buy sugared pecans, fudge, back scratchers, and miscellaneous other items. We decided we had better leave before the parade began at 11:00 a.m.; otherwise we would be stuck until it was over because the parade route went between the field and the exit road.

We were too slow, however, and had to wait until it was over. Luckily we didn't have too long of a wait. As I was watching the myriad of horseback riders and mules pulling wagons make their way up the parade route, I laughed as a teenage girl rode past me while talking on her cell phone. It seemed strange to have cell phone usage and horseback riding together in one parade. What could be so important that her phone call couldn't wait until after the parade?

At least 60,000 people attend Mule Day each year. About 20,000 were leaving with us after the parade, just as the other 40,000 were arriving. It was a mad dash to get back to the car and get out ahead of the others.

The main drag through Calvary is a two-lane road, so you can imagine the traffic jam. Both lanes of traffic were backed up as far as you could see and even further... and both were at a complete stand still (well our lane was moving more than the lane into Calvary). Surprisingly, it only took us about 15 minutes to get out of the chaos. I felt sorry for the semi driver obviously passing through and unaware of Mule Day. He looked very unhappy as we passed him. And we saw people parking as far as two miles away.

Now I know why they say get there early.

Happy Halloween!

Jessica wanted to be a prom queen for Halloween so naturally I waited until the last minute to think about finding her a costume. We went to the dreaded Wal-Mart yesterday and looked through the already picked over costumes. There was nothing prom queen-related in her size so we settled on a vampire dress, fangs, and long black wig. The fangs came with makeup.

I spent about $30 on the costume, but she was excited so it was all good.

It was crowded in Wal-Mart and there were only three human cashiers, as usual, so against my better judgment I decided to use the self-checkout. What a disaster.

I had to call the cashier over twice to help me. First the fangs wouldn't scan, which sent the computer into lock-down mode and the cashier had to punch in a 14-digit code to clear it. Then I had to get approval from the cashier to purchase beer. Finally, on the way to the car, I glanced at the receipt and noticed I had charged myself twice for the wig, so back we went to get the extra charge refunded.

Of course by this morning Jessica did NOT want to wear the costume because it was too short. And by this afternoon, she didn't want to wear the wig because it made her head itch.

So off she went with her friends to trick or treat with just her fangs and face makeup. But at least I was able to snap this pic while she had the wig on. She looks very much like she does when she is in a bad mood. Ha ha!!

Honor Roll!!

Kudos to Jessica for making A/B honor roll! Way to go Jessie!!!

If she looks like she's sleepy it's because she was!! I took this early this morning.

Just another Saturday

I have been living in this subdivision for almost 11 months now, traveling the main road in and out numerous times daily. There are a couple places where the road has dips. They are not big dips but big enough to cause a bump when driven over.

This morning, I noticed construction saw horses with a caution lights had been placed near the dips and signs posted to watch for the dips. I am wondering why they are cautioning people at this point? Surely whomever authorized the signs already knew about these dips. Maybe they are going to be repaired soon.

••••••••••••••••••••••

On my way to the bank this morning, I was stopped at the intersection of Thomasville and Bannerman Roads in the left hand turn lane. A motorcycle cop with lights flashing pulled out in front of me and the other stopped cars and stopped midway across Bannerman to block us. Then another motorcycle cop pulled into the middle of the intersection and began motioning the already moving traffic to move through the intersection, while he held up his hand in a stop motion towards me and the other cars.

I figured someone important must be coming into town, hence the police escort. As I sat there wondering, I watched the traffic going past me for a bus or a limo or something to indicate the reason why these cops had stopped us. Several semis passed, a tour bus passed, and many cars came through intersection, but nothing special. In the meantime, my red light turned green and then red again as I sat there wondering what was going on.

After a few more minutes. The cop in the middle of the intersection got on his motorcycle and left; the other cop followed.

I wonder if they were pulling a joke or something.

••••••••••••••••••••••

On my way back from the bank, I noticed a woman walking down the main drag of my subdivision while reading a book. Not a paperback book either... a rather large hardbound book. I am curious as to how she can read and walk without getting hit by a car.

Spread the mustard

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100% Punctuation: 80% Spelling: 60% Vocabulary: 20%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

My English just spreads the mustard.

Laurie

Laurie is back in the hospital.

Daddy called me Saturday night to tell me. All we know is that she is in CCU and is in stable condition. Mom said she thought it was the same problem she initially had last February (the first time she went in)... can't remember what that condition was called.

As before, the hospital will not give us details without a "pass code" and we don't know how to get that yet. I think Laurie is the one who has to authorize it but at this point, we don't know her mental state.

Her boyfriend's sister said that Laurie had started drinking again; that she barely weighs 100 lbs.

When I talked to Laurie last month, she told me was 112 lbs. It was an awkward conversation for me. She seemed out of it, slow to respond, almost like she was drunk. But Daddy said that she talks like that now because of having meningitis... it damaged her brain.

I feel numb. I feel bad that I am not more worried, but I just can't think about it.

One small step for mankind... one giant step for me

I now have a dryer. Yipee!!

I called up Mays-Munroe and asked if they had any dryers in my price range and the man (the owner actually) said the cheapest one he had was $299. It was an off-brand made by Whirlpool; a commercial grade dryer. He proceeded to give me way more information than I would ever have wanted to know which I liked. He knows his stuff. They have been in business since 1932.

I asked how soon it could be delivered and he said they could deliver it today.

Well that was good enough for me.

So I bought one right then and there over the phone. Bought it sight unseen.

After the delivery guy called to tell me they were on their way, I realized that I didn't even ask what color it was. I was hoping it was white, to match the washer, and it was.

I never thought I would be excited to do laundry..... and it will be nice to have a backyard that is not booby-trapped with clothesline.

Get the phone

Yesterday at work I heard a phone ringing. It was the phone in the copier area.

It rang and rang and rang and rang and rang.... no one answered.

I continued working trying to ignore the incessant ringing in my ears. I began to think, "Doesn't this person realize after 30 rings that either no one is around to answer it or is going to answer it?"

Finally, after at least 50 rings, it stopped.

Relief. I went back to concentrating on my work.

Three minutes later the phone began to ring again. "Geez," I thought to myself, "Doesn't this person ever give up? NO ONE is going to answer the phone!!!!!!"

I looked over as Colin was walking out of his office and we both looked at each other as if in mutual understanding. He thought it may be a fax call. But it wasn't a fax because we now get our faxes through our copier. We have no fax machine.

I decided that I was going to answer it. I walked back to the copier area and saw two people in the area ignoring the phone.

I just walked off. Somehow I felt stupid for wanting to answer it.

I NEED a dryer!

I went to look for a dryer today.

Okay, I know I have procrastinated. I know.

First I went to Home Depot. They had one, a brand made by Maytag but not called so, for $279.00. Their delivery fee was $55.00. The sales lady said there were none in stock but I could have one delivered by Wednesday.

I decided to move on and look at Lowes.

Lowes' cheapest dryer was $259.00, but was an off-brand... a Rover. The door didn't shut very easily so I was wary. They had an Amana brand dryer for $279.00 and the door shut better. They charged $59.00 for delivery and could have it delivered tomorrow.

I have cold feet, however. I pondered and pondered. But I feel like I need to check out Mays-Munroe, a family-owned business that has been around since I can remember. And they were not open today.

In the meantime, I am continuing life without a dryer. I got my clothes out on the line today even though there wasn't much sun and it was humid.

Later, as I was sitting on the couch, I heard rain... it came out of nowhere!

"DAMN," I yelled. I jumped up and started running around like a mad woman.

"Jason, QUICK!, help me get the clothes..." I ran to the car to get my umbrella. I couldn't find it. I opened every door on the Jeep and looked all over the garage before I found it.... in the Jeep.

This has happened too many times now. WHY!!

We got the clothes in, but they were damp. And Jason was complaining the entire time because apparently he will melt if he gets wet.

As soon as we brought the clothes in, it stopped raining.

I NEED a dryer!!

Just a weekend

David had the kids this weekend. He took Jason and Jessica up to Columbus, GA, Saturday for a soccer play date. I traded vehicles with him Friday night so they could travel in the Jeep.

David's truck is on its last leg. Actually it should have died a painful death years ago but for some unknown reason it is still running.

David has never wanted me to drive the truck because it could break down at any time, but he agreed because he had no choice. He couldn't take a chance of driving it to Columbus. Besides, I assured him, I wouldn't need to use it much so there wouldn't be any problems.

I drove it to Dale's Friday night. I was kind of worried that I would make it. The truck's engine sputtered every time I stopped at a light and it had absolutely no pickup. It was all I could do to get it to go 60 mph. I didn't dare pull out in front of anyone, not even if they were aways away. And the lack of side mirrors made it that much more hard to drive.

On my way home Saturday afternoon, I got a flat tire coming off I-10. I was sitting at a light when the man next to me told me my tire was flat. It went flat fast because I stopped at that light with a full tire, and when it turned green and I stopped at the next light it was flat. So I pulled off into the first gas station I could find and called AAA. Thank GOD for AAA; it's so worth the $57 membership!

I called David to tell him what had happened. After he calmed down enough to listen, I asked him where the spare tire was. It's in your garage, he said. WHAT?

Well what do you want me to do? Have AAA tow the truck to my house and have them put the tire on? Or, tow me to a tire store (which I had no clue where one was nearby)? He couldn't answer me.... all he could say was do what I thought best.

After about 45 minutes, the AAA tech showed up. He put enough air in the tire so I could follow him around the corner to a Discount Tire store.

I then proceeded to spend the next 2 hours waiting for a new tire to be put on.

My whole Saturday wasn't ruined, however, because Dale came over and cooked me Etouffe with crawfish and shrimp. It was fantastic. It was such a treat to have him cook dinner for me... and he can really cook! Later we watched the FSU football game... yes I actually watched football.

Today, he mowed my lawn for me. This man is so sweet.

Cell-out

I did it.

I have become one of the millions.

One of the millions who have a "cell" phone.

Okay, I have had a cell phone for several years... a prepaid one. I bought it when I went to New York City the first time. It made sense to make calls on it rather than pay the outrageous hotel fees, plus I would have something for emergencies.

I have been using this phone for 4 years now. At first, I never used it. But as time went by, it was convenient to have.

Really convenient.

I would be in Publix and need to ask a question about something and I would be able to just call home and ask... No second-guessing.

Over time, my need to use it increased. I had it on in the car after work so the kids could call. I had it on when I went anywhere away from the kids.

I found myself adding $10 every week. I finally had to ask myself... "What is the point in having a prepaid cell phone that costs almost as much as a 'real' cell phone?"

In addition, the kids had been harping on me to get their own cell phone. And they were relentless in their pursuit.

You don't need one, I would say over and over, like a broken record. My logic was unheard however. According to them, it wasn't fair. All of their friends had a cell phone. It's true, unfortunately, but that doesn't mean I will cave and get them one.....

Until yesterday.

I went to Sprint. David has his cell with Sprint and is very happy. I went down there with the intention of getting myself a phone... myself only.

But after about 15 minutes, I ended up getting the kids a phone.... I broke down and got the FAMILY plan.

God help me, I caved..... but the kids are so happy. And I am happy too, I have to admit.

The phones are all alike, except for the color. Mine is blue, Jessie's is pink, and Jason's is black.

I can see the value of them having a phone now. God, I am SO brainwashed I know. But I can see it.

Birthday girl

Jessie turned 13 yesterday. She's finally a TEEN!! Well technically she's been a teen since she turned 10 but now the sound of teen is in her age.

We celebrated this past Saturday. She had two friends come over for a sleepover. They played music and made up dance routines all day. It really brought back memories of when Laurie and I used to make up dance routines and cheers.

Her bootie included...

Two Webkins animals (a dog and an elephant)... Webkins is apparently the new Beanie Baby. For a mere $14.00 you get a stuffed Beanie Baby-like creature but the difference is that you adopt the creature and can go to the Webkins website and play games, etc., online.

It was funny because I knew she wanted a Webkin very badly, so I went to Blue Abaco to buy her one. They did the gift wrapping very nicely in a white bag with pink and white tissue paper. But the bag had their name and logo on it and I knew if she saw the "Blue Abaco" logo she would immediately know what was in the bag. She was the one who told me that Webkins were sold there.

So, being the crafty person that I am, I taped an index card with her name written on it over the Blue Abaco logo. She would never know now!!

Then her friend Morgan arrived with the EXACT same bag!!! And the sticker was showing!! God, I thought to myself, she's gonna know for sure now. I mean the bag was identical... same tissue paper and all. However, Jessie must have been too excited to notice, because she never picked up on it. While she was opening Morgan's bag, I was praying that it wasn't the same Webkin!!

She also received...

Some clothes from Grandma Jill that look fabulous on her. One such item is a black skirt that swishes and sways when she walks. It's scary to see my daughter with hips, I tell you.

Gift cards to Claire's and Justice for Girls from dad.

A CD of Hannah Montana, the latest in tween music. Actually she's very good. She is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, if you remember him.... Achy Breaky Heart.

A Nintendo DS and game called Nintendo Dogs. Actually she is buying the Nintendo DS with money from her grandparents, but I went ahead and bought it for her in advance so she would have something to play the game on.

She had a very good birthday I think. Here are some pics.

Trying

There is only so much in life that I can take.

I am trying to get divorced.

I am trying to deal with two teenage children who are challenging.... SO challenging.

I am trying to date a man who means so much to me.

I am trying to get dad to spend more time with the kids.

I am trying to work full time.

I am trying to get the kids counseling.

I am trying to be a better parent.

I am trying... I am trying.

But yet, I feel like I am failing.

Leaning to drive

Today, on my way to work, as I was sitting at a traffic light staring vaguely ahead and singing to my CD, I noticed a car coming from the opposite direction making a u-turn. The car was white. An older model car, big like a Cadillac, and it was leaning very much towards the passenger's side.

It was so lopsided that I thought the car would surely flip over. But it didn't. It looked like someone had jacked up the driver's side so that it towered above the passenger side.

And after the driver completed the u-turn, the car stayed that way. I thought it must have had a whole lot of weight on the passenger side to keep it down like that.

It really looked odd.

The light turned green and as I passed the car, I looked over and noticed that there was a VERY large woman holding a baby in the passenger seat.

Arrr, it's Talk Like A Pirate Day.... again!!

Thanks to my cousin's blog for a reminder that today is Talk Like A Pirate Day. I love this day. Here is my pirate name. I think it suits me. What do you think?

My pirate name is:

Mad Anne Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Bite the bullet

I have got to get a dryer. My dryer died a few months ago and I have avoided making a decision about whether to have it repaired (new motor) or to buy a new one or to buy a used one. So in the interim, I have been using a clothesline in the back yard.

I don't really mind hanging out the clothes actually, except for the times I did and went somewhere and it rained (that has happened twice) or the fact that I cannot just do laundry whenever I want... I have to wait for sun! The problem is that don't have enough line to hang everything any more and there is no where else to put line.

My back yard looks like a danger zone as it is already and I am sure the neighbors are less than thrilled. There is clothesline strung over every available inch of usable space, zig zagging in every direction. I have to be careful not to decapitate myself when I am mowing.

Today, as I was hanging out my second load, I ran out of line. I began to think about what was different. Why did I run out of room? I still had two loads left to wash.

Then I noticed that the majority of the clothes belonged to Jessica... way more clothes than she would wear a week, so I decided to count them. She had 16 shirts and 10 pants/shorts/skirts for one week! When is she wearing all these clothes?

If I had a dryer, I wouldn't have to deal with lack of space to hang clothes, or rain, or embarrassing my children because my underwear is viewable out the back door.

It's time to just bite the bullet and get a dryer.

Birthday continued

We celebrated Jason's birthday formally today. David, mom, and aunt Jeannie came over. I told them to come between noon and 1:00 pm, so naturally they showed up at 11:00 am. Mom made a chocolate cake (organic) and brought the candles.


Jason got lots of nice presents: a tennis racket and balls; a soccer ball pump kit, a mini soccer ball for juggling, clothes, a lava lamp, and the biggie present, a 19" LCD flat panel TV. He was floored by the TV.


Jason told me afterwards it was one of the best birthdays he's had in a long time. Tonight we went to the FSU Women's soccer game. They won against Auburn 3-0. He met his friends Sam and Ben there and they came home with us to spend the night.

They are all in his room now playing soccer.

Birthday boy

The boy turned 15 today. I can hardly believe he is that old. We will celebrate tomorrow with cake and presents, but tonight he opened one present from me.... a mouse for his laptop.



He loves the one I bought myself a few weeks ago and I thought I bought the exact same one, but turns out I didn't. So I gave him my mouse and took his new one. Now I have to get used to it or take it back. It's not as nice and is thinner and harder to fit in my hand. I may be taking it back, actually.

On another note, an obviously out-of-tune note, this was the reaction I got when I sang happy birthday to him.

Spot's revenge, part 2

I knew it as soon as I opened the door to the garage this morning. Spot whizzed past my leg and into the kitchen at 90 miles per hour headed straight for the food dish.

Crap, I thought out loud, Spot was trapped in the garage all night. I immediately smelled confirmation.

He pooped.

I quickly checked the roof of my Jeep, pleased to find nothing. I looked around some more and eventually located his "revenge" behind the washer.

Waiting in Jacksonville

This past weekend we went to a soccer tournament in Jacksonville. Jason's team won for their age bracket (U15) and that was great... but it was a LONG weekend. Rain forced the Saturday afternoon games to be cancelled and rescheduled, which, in turn, caused the games scheduled for Sunday to be pushed back and so on and so on. As a result, we spent much of the weekend either waiting for the rain to stop or waiting for the game ahead of us to finish because it started late. It was very frustrating to say the least but there were some funny moments.


Waiting around for a game to begin.

When there is lightening, a siren sounds, games are immediately stopped, and everyone is supposed to retreat to their cars for 20 or 30 minutes. Three short sirens indicate when it is safe to resume play.

On Sunday, while waiting for the girls team playing before us to complete their game, which started late, the sky got very dark and we heard thunder in the distance. We knew what was coming and were bummed because of the rain delays that had occurred already and we hadn't even gotten to play yet. Sure enough, right at the end of the girls' game, the siren went off. We went to our cars and the boys kind of stood around in front talking. It wasn't raining, nor was there any more thunder, but we had to wait for the three sirens.

About 20 minutes into the wait a car alarm began going off. At the same time, the referees took the field and the boys followed. I overheard someone say that it was the three sirens and I said, "Isn't that a car alarm?" No one replied, so we piled onto the stands happy that we could finally watch some soccer.

About 30 seconds into the game, the siren went off. Everyone in the stands began booing and awwwing. Then another siren went off... then another. We quickly realized that it was the three "okay to come back" sirens and busted out laughing because the refs and boys had mistaken the car alarm as the siren. Note, they sound nothing alike!

One day I'll be someone's main squeeze

You're a Boa Constrictor!

You're that person who is always offering massages to people and you spend a lot of time training yourself to get better at giving them. Sometimes, however, you make people just a little nervous with how close you're getting to their neck. But you can usually knead them right back into a false sense of security, er, I mean into feeling comfortable. Your mouth seems to be capable of opening wider than anyone else's. You've sometimes wondered what it would be like to be made out of feathers.


Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Personally, I think this one is way off. I prefer to GET massages rather than give!!

smites, and nubes, and imps, oh my

I am sitting on the couch surfing the internet and Jason is sitting on the other end of the couch playing Runescape while talking on the phone to his friend Justin, who is also playing.

Runescape is an interactive online game where you are a character and can interact with other characters (people) in real time. I don't really understand the concept, but apparently you go to different "worlds" and fight people, or go on quests, or work for money. It is very popular with his friends and I am constantly having to remind him to get off of it and notice that there is a real world outside.

There is a lot of terminololgy associated with this game and to over hear him talking about what he's doing or going to do is like listening to him talk in a foreign language.

So I am sitting here surfing and cracking up at what I am hearing:

"Dude, there's an imp at the bank."

"I'm about to go get dragon boots."

"I'm gonna take my CV brace off because I am going PK'ing."

"Dude, I just got poned."

"Go into smites and nubes and get their DVS's."

"He's owking and he has obbey kabe."

I just asked him what "owking" meant and he replied that it was for "formage."

I will not bother to ask him what "formage" means.

Small world

Today I went to Target to get Jason's school supplies.

On my way to the checkout line, I ran into a former neighbor of mine from the neighborhood I lived in before separating. I actually went to high school with her, although we were not close back then; nor were we close when I lived there, but we would speak now and then.

We stopped to talk to each other... me telling her about the separation and my move with the kids; she introducing me to her husband and offering her sympathies to a broken marriage.

Talk got around to the sale of the home. She asked if I minded telling her how much it sold for, so I did. I didn't mind because everyone who owns homes in that neighborhood is curious to know what sells for what. That way when the time comes for them to sell, they will know how price their homes.

I told her about all the heartache we went through trying to get a real offer on the place and that the woman who bought it was very excited about it.

Just as I was telling them that the buyer had put in all new appliances, I heard someone say my name. I turned around and saw a woman with a shopping cart.

I looked at her trying to recognize who it was but before I had a chance to really see her, she said, "I don't know if you remember me, but I am the woman who bought your home."

I had only met her once, and that was at closing.

I started laughing and said that I was just telling them (my old neighbor and her husband) about you.

What a small world.

Soccer Saturday

Just in from a very long day in Pensacola. Jason had a play date of two games.

The first game was at noon. It was incredibly hot and sunny with not much of a breeze. Hotter than it has been here in Tallahassee the past few weeks.

I told Kim, our team manager, that it was pretty bad when you went to wipe the sweat off your upper lip with your finger and it stayed sweaty because your finger was sweaty!

I got a big kick out of Kim today. She went to set up her chair umbrella, which has seen better days, and this is what she discovered:



All the umbrella's protective caps were missing, revealing very dangerous looking spiky tines or whatever they are called. Plus the umbrella would open out all the way.

Being the smart ass I am, I had to milk it, I pulled out my camera and made fun of her for a full 10 minutes prior to the game kick off.

Later on during half time, a very young girl, probably three years old, came up to her and asked if she was her grandmother. Kim misunderstood at first and replied that she was not her grandmother and the little girl said, "No, are you her grandmother?" (pointing to Kim's daughter.)

I thought Kim was gonna cry (not really). She was smiling of course and pretending to be offended to me, but I was cracking up. She is younger than me. So I milked that for a long time! She's such a good sport. We laughed about that for a long time.

During the second half of the game it began to rain. The rain cooled things off, which was great, but rain forces us to either retreat to our cars or huddle in our chairs under our umbrellas. So it was raining pretty steady, not a down pour but hard enough, and there we were huddled under our umbrellas... we are hard core soccer moms after all. It was a sight though...there Kim sat huddling under her spiky umbrella that wouldn't open all the way, clutching her team notebook close against her so it wouldn't get wet. It was a pitiful sight indeed.

Of course I was totally cracking up, making fun of her, and I would have taken her picture except Jessica had taken my purse (containing my camera) with her when she retreated to the car.

This is one of the pics I took today. It was so bright that I couldn't tell what I was taking or if they were in focus, but they were for the most part. My camera was on full magnify but still it is not close. That's Jason in the middle in white/red.



We won the first game 2 to 0. We lost the second game 3 to 0. The second game seemed to be much more physical and harder for the boys.

By the time we left Pensacola, I was so tired. It had been a long HOT day and I dreaded the three hour drive home, but we made it... getting home at exactly 8:49 p.m. We had a contest where we predicted the exact minute we would pull into the garage. Jason said 8:48, I said 8:49, Jessie said 8:50. It was 8:48 as I pulled into the driveway, and Jason was doing high fives on himself, but as I entered the garage the clock changed to 8:49. Of course I milked it!

During the drive home, Jessica showed me one of her many talents:

Man I'm hungry

How to make a Liane Michel

Ingredients: 1 part pride 5 parts brilliance 5 parts instinct

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of sadness and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

More alarming talk

I generally get up at 6:15 a.m. on work days. My alarm clock is set for 6:00, but I hit the snooze button twice before actually getting up.

This morning, while in the middle of my first snooze hit and trying to savor the last 10 or minutes of sleep I had remaining, Jessica walked into my bedroom and announced that it was time get up.

Trying to shield the light as if I was a vampire, I groggily asked if her alarm had gone off and she said yes. I told her I needed one more snooze and then I would get up.

By the time I stumbled out of my bedroom at 6:15, she was already dressed.

I think buying her an alarm clock may turn out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. Now I just have to get Jason to use his.

Silent alarm

Throughout the night I would wake up wondering if Jason's alarm clock had gone off and if he was up early. I didn't know what time he had set it for, but figured he'd set it for 5:00 or 5:30 a.m.

When I got up at 6:15, he was still asleep and the alarm clock was silent. I proceeded with my routine of turning on his light and telling him it was time to get up. At 6:30 he was still in bed. At 6:45 he was still in bed, but got up when I told him that this was the third and final time I would tell him.

As I was getting ready for my shower, he came in my room and sat down on the bed. I told him that I wanted him to put the clock back in the box because I was going to return it.

"Why?", he asked.

"Because it doesn't work", I said.

I had bought both the kids the cheapest ones Target had (less than $5.00 each) and Jessica's had not gone off either.

"Yes it does", he replied.

"Well, then why didn't it go off this morning?"

"It did", he said with a grin, "but I wanted to sleep some more, so I turned it off."

I just laughed at him and went into the bathroom.

I am not an alarm clock

This morning Jason complained to me that "I" need to wake him up earlier..... that he doesn't have enough time to "wake up" before he has to get ready for school.

I looked at him in disbelief.

Every morning at 6:15 (when I get up), I walk into his room, turn on his light, and tell him it's time to get up. He promptly grunts and turns over.

At 6:30, I go back to his room and prod him until he gets up. I practically have to drag him out of the bed and he is taller than me now.

So I am sitting on the couch this morning, looking at him in disbelief, and trying to realize how, somehow, it is my fault that he won't get up earlier?

He said he wanted to get up at 5:00 or 5:30 a.m.

I told him I would buy him an alarm clock and he could get up at a time he felt appropriate. So I did this afternoon.

We'll see what happens in the morning.

On another note....

The other day I asked Jessica to get the towels off the clothes line, fold them, and put them away. When she put them into the linen closet, she just crammed them in however they would fit.... and not on the same shelf either.

Towels were crammed everywhere.

I noticed, of course, and being the compulsive person I am (need to have order), I told her she should not have done that; that she should have put them in nice and orderly. Otherwise what's the point of FOLDING them?

Just now, she opened the linen closet to get a towel and she asked me why the towels were crammed in there.

I feel like I just can't win.

I toad you so

You Were a Toad

You drift into altered states of consciousness freely and easily. You also have the power to change luck and life a long life.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Hell yes.

And we're off......

Today was the first day of school. Jason is starting high school (god); Jessie middle.

I made them pose for me this morning. Haven't done that in a while. When they were little I would always take a pic of them the morning of the first day. Jessie stopped arguing with me long enough to pose.


It was funny, she just went into "photo" mode...like a model... and I snapped the pic. Then she was right back into her argument, never missing a beat.

I just finished doing MY homework... filling out the mound of paperwork they each came home with.

Soccer returns

Soccer season is back and I love it!! Jason missed almost the entire season last year due to a broken leg/foot, so it is so nice to be back! The next two or so months will be jam-packed with play dates and tournaments. Then his travel team will take a break while high school soccer has its season. And he plans to try out. Travel soccer will then resume in January.

Today, Jason's team played the U-16 boys. Here are some shots of him. He is #38 (red shirt) for those who don't know. Man, it was so hot outside.

Awakening

I've just discovered the music of Stone Temple Pilots.

OMG, where have I been all my life? I LOVE their music. Yes, I have heard of them... heard of them for years, but I have never heard them. They are AWESOME!

Actually I have always loved their hit "Interstate Love Song," but up until tonight, I thought it was by Hootie and the Blowfish.

I am so out of it.

I have always listened to mainstream music.... you know, the music played on the radio. I do own some CDs but not very many. And I would be ashamed to tell you what I do own because, apparently, boy bands are not cool anymore.

Lately, however, with the help of my friend Dale, I am discovering new music. Different music. Not the songs I hear daily on Star 98... the 10 songs of the 80s, 90s, and today. Not the same "classic" rock I hear over and over and over and OVER like a broken record. But music by bands like Ester Drang and blues.

I know, I know.... there's no excuse for not having heard blues... well I have heard some, but hey, I told you I am out of it.

So I feel like I've missed out on half my life. No, wait.... I feel like I am discovering the second half of my life!

Retard

The kids have been at each other's throats all summer. She in his business. He in hers. It's constant and it's driving me insane. Believe me, it's been a LONG summer.

Yesterday I asked Jessie to empty the dishwasher. Called her from the car on my way home from work. "Hey, I need you to empty the dishwasher and let me talk to Jason...... Jason, I need you to load the dishwasher after Jessie empties it."

"Do it before I get home please." "Okay," he says, but not without complaint.

I get home and no dishes have been loaded. I yell out for Jason. He finally comes to load, but not without more complaint. Apparently, he can't rinse and load dishes barefoot; it makes him itch. So I told him to put his shoes on. He did and promptly began whining about why no one ever rinses their dishes. He accused Jessie of messing up every dish in the house in anticipation of him having to load. Then he asked me if we could each have our own set of silverware that we each wash.

I am listening to this as I am sweeping.

In the meantime, Jessie could no longer resist the urge to get in his business. She told him to stop his complaining while pointing out everything he was doing wrong. Then she left the kitchen and came back with every stray glass and dish she could find; grinning from ear to ear.

I told her if she didn't stop, she would be loading the dishwasher. She went straight to the refrigerator and began arranging the plastic magnet letters. This is what I found later on.

Kids

A week left of summer vacation then Jessica will start middle school; Jason high school. They actually stopped fighting long enough for me to take this picture.

Jason is taller than me now (just a bit though). Somewhere along the summer he had a growth spurt. I never really noticed because I rarely see him standing anymore. He is usually sitting on couch or bed with his computer in his lap. Jessica has had a growth spurt too, but in a different direction.

Creative stacking

The kids now have chores to do every week. One such chore is to unload the dishwasher and put away the dishes. They know fully well where things belong, but in their effort to rush through the experience, they just stash dishes how and where they feel.

I don't know who put this baking dish away. I won't even ask because both will deny it. But I cracked up when I opened the cabinet!

Cutting edge

I have finally mowed the lawn.

It's a big deal to me. I never had to mow lawns.... well save one time when I was around 15. I had to mow the lawn and broke out in a rash. THANK GOD for that!!! I used that excuse up until yesterday. "Can't mow the lawn; makes me break out in a rash. Seriously, you can ask my mom."

But I am on my own now. I am an adult. I am a grown up. I need to learn to do for myself. That's one of the reasons for separating right? Hell yes.

So I get the lawnmower in the "settlement", mainly because he has no where to keep it and why not have it here? I can use it for sure! I have to keep up the yard.

The problem is that I am... well was.... afraid of the lawnmower. David showed me how to use it.... where to move the throttle, make sure it has gas, etc. No problem. Except when I went to start it.

I was gonna start it up and mow. Show everyone. I can mow!! I proudly wheeled the lawn mower out of the garage and into the yard. I pulled the cord.... ripped the cord...... I don't know, but I could NOT get the motor to turn. I was embarrassed that I couldn't get it to start so I wheeled it back into the garage and promptly decided to think about that problem later.

Well later turned into yesterday. The yard was overgrown and was getting worse. David had mowed the front yard a couple weeks prior so it was not as thick. But the rest of the yard... side and back... was very thick. Yes I know you are probably thinking at this point well WHY was David mowing my yard? Well in my defense, he did it while I was working out. He came over when I was gone to my work out and when I got back, he was mowing. That's the type of guy he is. But I digress.

So I was NOT gonna ask David to mow my lawn. No, it was my responsibility. Either I pay someone to do it or figure out how to start that mower.

I decided that I was going to start the mower because I am not any different than any other woman who I have EVER seen mowing the lawn.. well, different except for the fact I have never mowed.

I got gas in the can and poured it into the lawnmower. I needed a funnel so I created one from a water bottle that Jessie uses to "cook" with outside. I filled the tank. I pulled the cord as hard as I could. Nothing. I pulled again. Nothing.

I pulled again, the hardest yet...... and the motor kicked over. It was a sound of joy; a sound of "freedom", if you will. A sound that I KNOW my cousin Sarah will relate to.... In any case, I took off and mowed the crap out of my yard.

I feel so good about myself. I have mastered that lawn mower. The only thing now is that I get Jason used to it because HE is gonna be doing the lawn mowing. I break out in a rash after all.

Feeling flushed

I really hate modern conveniences sometimes. You may recall my run in with self checkouts. Yesterday I went to the movies with my cousin Sarah. We went to see Evan Almighty, which is extremely funny by the way. Before the movie began I went to the bathroom. I always do this even if I don't have to go because I don't want to "have to go" during the movie. When I got in the stall I noticed water drops on the seat. I knew it was water and not pee because the toilets are self-flushing and each time the toilet flushes, it flushes with such power that it splashes water up onto the seat.

There is nothing I hate worse than sitting down on a wet toilet seat! It makes my underwear stick to me and just feels uncomfortable; not to mention unclean!

So I got some toilet paper, leaned over, and dried off the seat. As I stood up, undid my shorts, and proceeded to sit down, the toilet flushed sending water splashing up all over my rump and I was wetter than if I had just left well enough alone! Sometimes I really hate modern conveniences.