Happy Mother's Day

It's been a very nice Mothers Day for me.

To start it off my mom came over and cooked me a breakfast casserole and we sat around and talked and watched old episodes of Soap.

Do you remember Soap? It was a dramody series that aired in the latter 1970s and was a parody of soap operas... very racy for its time... very tame for today's time.

Anyway, it was a nice morning. After mom left, I got started on my goals of grocery shopping, feeding dogs at Dale's place, and doing laundry. Oh and I also laid out for a little bit to try to get some color other than blinding white.

Later, after Jessica came home from her friend's house, she gave me the best gift of all.... a pair of the largest and most beautiful fake diamond earrings I have EVER seen (I'm wearing them right now) and a card with such a nice message it made me cry.

It's not the greatest gift because of what I received, rather given the amount of time we argue and stay mad at each other, it was a beautiful surprise!

For every one out there who is a mom, I tell you Happy Mother's Day. And for every one out there who is not a mom, I tell you call your MOM if you can.

THIS JUST IN......

Jessica just shoved her shoes in my face and explained that she stepped in "poop" and she didn't know where to put them.

After seeing those very shoes on top of the washing machine this morning and hurling them into her room (which is a total pig sty and I am not kidding), I suggested she put them in her room... and the next time she wore them the residue would wear off. I mean I didn't see anything.

So she proceeded to walk two or three steps over to the dining room and drop them right next to her tennis shoes.

Me: (Glaring and just noticing the tennis shoes) I didn't mean to drop them there.

Jessica: Well I'm not putting them in MY room.

Happy Mother's Day.

A new generation

I just came across this picture on my desktop. A portrait of Jessica as expressed by Jason.


I caught Jason playing with Photoshop the other day and apparently he's learned how to use the Clone Stamp tool.

So it's not surprising to me that he would use it on a picture of his sister... seriously they are enemies lately.

And of course, Jessica would have a fit if she ever saw this, and I am ashamed to post it... really I am... but it's too funny not to.

I'm thrilled that Jason is experimenting with his creativity. It's awesome that he's learning Photoshop and gaining valuable job skills in a time when he's usually glued to the computer screen playing his online game with his comforter draped over his head.

Do I see a light ahead?

Oh and to be fair, here is the original pic:

My kind of yard

There is this spot in my yard, by my driveway, that I've been wanting to redo since I moved in. It was filled with some kind of plant... green plant... that wasn't ugly, but wasn't what I wanted.

So, to celebrate the first anniversary of moving in, I decided to do something about it. Last week I began pulling out the old plants in order to get it ready for FLOWERS!!

My mom came yesterday and helped me finish the pulling and then we went to Esposito's to buy Impatiens. I decided on Impatiens because my yard is mostly shady all day and will not accommodate flowers that need lots of sun (drat it all).

Here is the previous bed (click pix to see it larger):
















Here is the flower bed (yes I know it's a different angle.. just click to see it larger!):




The plants are very small right now but in time they will grow bigger and fill up the space. I love Impatiens and have them also in the flower boxes off my porch.



My mom planted Impatiens in my flower boxes last year and they were all the same color. This time, I had the idea to mix them up, which I am not sure she approves of... but hey I think they look "dashing" even though this picture doesn't show all the colors.

And Mom, you will be happy to know that I used pine bark mulch around the flowers. So much better than leaves.

Unmarriage revisited

I was looking through my archives just now and came across this post:

http://theworldaccordingtoliane.blogspot.com/2008/02/unmarriage.html

I have to say that a year+ later I still have mixed feelings about everything that has happened between David and me... and from living the past year+, I have learned that these feelings are gonna stay with me forever. I can't forget my life just because I've "moved on."

It's okay though. There's no reason to stop feeling. I love him. I love him as a friend and he's proven that he's my friend time and time again.

I have a good relationship with David... much like we had when we were married. He is an honorable man. And he pays child support with NO problems. That in itself is appreciated, believe me.

But I also have a serious relationship with a wonderful man who loves me and shows it. He shows it by calling me out of the blue... by telling me he loves me practically daily. By snuggling with me. By sympethizing with me when my life is challenging.

My sweet Dale. He is everything to me. I have never loved a man as much as I love him. I wish we had met earlier.

Dang, I think that what I am trying to say is that I love my life. My life rocks!

Well that's not entirely true. I hate my job at the moment... and I hate dealing with my heathen-istic teenagers.... but other than that, things are good. I may not have a job this time next year but I know I have family and love.

I think I should go and take one of those Facebook quizzes to see if I'm doing things right!

What I know

In 46 years I've learned that

It doesn't matter how old I am, I still feel like I did when I was young. My mind is aging beautifully but my body isn't.

The lyrics "All that I feel is the realness I'm faking," (Shattered, OAR) are pretty darn true.

No matter how much I explain... or talk about... or protest... or threaten... my children are never gonna pick up after themselves while they live with me.

There are people in this world who have no clue what a Datsun B210 is; much less a pop top.

You can win the hearts of others with humor.

You can get what you want by making scary changes.

I am smarter than I give myself credit for.

Adolesence is harder on the parent. It is.

May I have your attention please?

Why do people put their annual tag renewal stickers on every corner of their license plate? Or worse... slap it right in the middle without a care?

The sticker goes in the top right corner. It goes there every year. You actually cover up or peel off the prior year's sticker.

I'm in such a peevy mood right now because of all the people out there who make me so. Here are a few more of my peeves. I bet some are yours too.

Why do people

leave their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle while they compare prices or chit chat and act oblivious to the fact that I'm standing there, staring at them, waiting to pass?

pull out in front of me when nobody is behind me?

stand directly next to me (and I mean inches away) at the checkout counter while I am still paying?

intentially block intersections? (Okay, sometimes I get caught unexpectedly in the middle of an intersection, but I make it a point to avoid doing that.)

misdial my phone number then proceed to leave me a message after listening to my voice mail?

speed in school zones just because it's not the peak time?

try to turn left across 5 lanes of traffic in the middle of rush hour? It's even worse if 2 out of the 5 lanes let them out because 75% of the time they block lanes 1 and 2 while waiting to complete their turn. Not only is this totally idiotic, it's very dangerous. People get killed this way.

I can't think of anything else at the moment as I am listening to upbeat, happy music but believe you me there is more to come.

Thoughts of Nikki

I was thinking about Nikki.... who is very tired of being pregnant right now.... and it occurred to me that living with teenagers is like being pregnant.

The longer they are with you, the more you want them OUT!!

God speed Nikki!


P.S., okay, I feel like a terrible mom for saying that, but actually I really do feel that way at times. I think that nature is preparing me and "them" for the ultimate nest-leaving.

WTF????

This is a current headline from the Yahoo home page:

• Infant, six others shot near Mardi Gras parade route *Photos

*The asterisk represents a camera icon that didn't come through to my post.

Now, to be fair, I didn't click on the story... or the PHOTOS... and read about it.... but does anyone else see what is wrong here?

A turkey of a turkey

I had Tofurkey today.

Tofurkey is apparently a combination of tofu and turkey. Tofu and turkey? No wait, that would be a contradiction since it's vegan. Maybe it's tofu that tastes like turkey.

Anyway, I saw a pack in the grocery store yesterday and it looked really good. It was low in fat/calories and high in fiber. I've never had tofu so what the heck, I paid the $3.99 price for what the label said amounted to three servings of 5 slices each. The flavor I bought was Sun Dried Tomato.

The first thing I noticed about Tofurkey after opening the package was that it smelled an awful lot like canned dog food. That was not a good sign. But I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and taste it. I pulled a piece off one of the very thin slices and took a bite. Not bad. But not great.

For breakfast this morning, I made a sandwich out of 2 of the Tofurkey slices. I toasted the bread and added mustard and tomato.

It was edible but it tasted nothing like turkey. It had no flavor except the fake flavor injected into it. Seriously, I can't understand why anyone likes it.

7 things you probably don't know about me

I stole this idea from one of my favorite bloggers. The deal is to name 25 things about yourself that no one knows. That sounded like a piece of cake when I read it at lunch time, but now that I am really thinking about it, I can only come up with 7. At least for tonight...


1. I worked as a telemarketer.
It was only for about two weeks part-time when I was in my early 20s, but it was hell. I worked for the Rainbow International Carpet Cleaning and Dying Company (or was it dying and cleaning?).

Anyway, try saying that in it's entirety to someone who answers the phone during dinner before they hang up on you!

I actually shortened the script I was required to read so that it sounded more natural, but the supervisor overheard me and told me I had to follow the script.

I only had one sale.

2. I love boy bands.
I admit it. I specifically love N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys, but I only listen to them while I am in the car. I have actually experienced tennnis-elbow in my jaw because of all the singing-along I do to their music.

3. I used to work for Spencers. (you know, that store in the mall?)
My main responsibility was to straighten the shelves. I would elaborate but I just fell asleep.

4. I have seen the BBC miniseries of Pride and Prejudice a jazillion times.
I've seen it so many times, in fact, that I can recite the dialogue (in accent of course) without missing a beat, but I have never read the book.

5. I was almost in the movie "Something Wild."
If you don't know, part of "Something Wild" was filmed here in Tallahassee and my friend-at-the-time's family lived on the street they were shooting a particular scene on. It's the scene where Melanie Griffith comes out of her grandmother's house and goes to the car where Jeff Daniels is waiting and drives to the end of the street.

I was watching the lighting crew set up the scene with actor-doubles and someone noticed me through the bushes and told me I was in the shot but invited me to come down where they were filming and watch.

Anyway, I sat on the bank and watched the final scene along with the other neighbors. Melanie Griffith came around the back of the car in high heels and proceeded to slip on the pavement and fall on her backside.

I felt bad for her of course, but it was totally awesome.

6. My daughter was almost named Kelly.
I wanted to name her Jessica as soon as I found out "it" was a girl, but David didn't want that name. I knew her middle name would be Michel no matter what because it runs in my family, but after a grueling process I settled on Kelly.

Somewhere around August, however, when I was 8.5 months preggers, the name Jessica popped back in my head. I insisted to David that her name would be Jessica and he didn't resist. Smart, smart man.

And what foresight I had!! Turns out, she is nothing less than a Jessica.

7. I dye my hair.
I never thought I would be the type to do that, but my hair is turning silver faster than I am willing to accept, and, besides, I am tired of being blinded every time I look in the mirror.

It's not vanity mind you; it's a medical necessity.

Life is good

Son is in kitchen eating chocolate chips (which came as a topping on yogurt).

Daughter is sitting at dining room table with an empty carton of yogurt (which came with a topping of chocolate chips).

Son throws a chocolate chip at Daughter.

Daughter protests and appeals to Mom.

Mom tells Son to stop, which appeases Daughter.

Son then throws another chocolate chip at Daughter.

Daughter protests louder and appeals to Mom... louder.

Mom tells Son to stop again and threatens loss of Xbox.

Son ceases chocolate chip throwing.

Daughter ceases protesting.

About a minute goes by.

Son walks into dining room and spits a chocolate chip onto Daughter.

Mom tries to conceal laughter but fails miserably and braces for Daughter's reaction.

Daughter looks at Mom and breaks out into laughter.

Life is good.

But still

I had the neatest experience the other day.

I read my cousin's blog, as I do daily, and it was about a "quirky" object she owned and would never part with. That "quirky" object was a silver drinking cup given to her by her grandfather who had originally received it from the famous playwright Harold Pinter, who recently died.

My cousin's grandfather is famous too. His name is Paul Rogers and he is British. His first wife married my mother's father. Confused? He is my step grandfather once removed by all logical purposes... not actually related.

I have heard about Paul Rogers since I can remember but have never met, much less seen a picture of the man. Still it's a very cool feeling to know that someone who is sort of step-related to me is famous!

Famous for doing plays... or so I always thought.

I was reading my cousin's blog and she included a clip of him in the movie "The Homecoming," (1973), which was also a Broadway play.

It was too much. Finally, I had a chance to see what he looked like and how exciting is that!! I watched the clip with the same anticipation of a child sneaking out to get her Christmas stocking in the middle of the night.

After I saw the clip I had to show it to my coworkers, one of whom had actually taken a class about Harold Pinter when she was in college. I felt so proud showing him off, which is totally weird since he doesn't even know I exist.

But still.

I then Googled his name and found out that he has appeared in many movies, with many classic stars such as Laurence Olivier, Catherine Zeta-Jones [okay, work with me], Anthony Hopkins, Peter Finch, Liv Ullman, Rod Steiger, Anthony Quinn, David Janssen, Dame Judi Dench, Peter Ustinov, Terence Stamp, John Hurt, Stuart Whitman, Burl Ives, Maureen O'Hara.

OMG!!! Do I need to keep going???

I wish I could meet him just once. Just to ask him about his experiences. How great they must be. How great. But he is about 92 now and in England and has no clue who I am so I know that will never happen.

But still.

A room with a view

The view from my front door last week.

My Japanese Maple.

The leaves have been green all year so this was a very nice surprise. You will remember that I am clueless when it comes to plants.

This picture doesn't do it justice at all. The leaves looked like fire.

They didn't stay this way long though. Within a day or so, they turned garnet and fell off.

Don't give me any SAS!

I am learning SAS at work. SAS is a programming language used to produce statistical information/reports. "SAS" doesn't stand for anything; it's just SAS.

I am enjoying this educational challenge but there's a lot to learn and each section builds upon the last. You have to be in a learning frame of mind or you'll get lost.

It just so happens I'm NOT in a learning frame of mind this morning and after I read the following snippet 10 times, I felt an overwhelming urge to stop "learning" and blog.

Tell me this won't drive you to drink:

Specifying SELECT Statements without Expressions

If you don't specify a select-expression, SAS evaluates each when-expression to produce a result of true or false.

If the result is true, SAS executes the statement in the WHEN statement.

If the result is false, SAS proceeds either to the next when-expression in the current WHEN statement, or to the next WHEN statement if no more expressions are present, or to the OTHERWISE statement if one is present. (That is, SAS performs the action that is indicated in the first true WHEN statement.)

If more than one WHEN statement has a true when-expression, only the first WHEN statement is used; once a when-expression is true, no other when-expressions are evaluated.

It's only 9:30 a.m. I have a long day ahead of me.

A view on I-10

Yesterday as I was traveling down I-10, I saw something I know I'll never see again.... a classic car from the 1950s towing a helicopter.

That's right. A helicopter.

Who ever heard of a car towing a helicopter???

Even if I had had my camera with me I would have never got that shot. I was doing 65 and the car was going in the opposite direction. So I searched the internet and I made this combined photo to approximate what I saw (sans the snow of course). The car was blue and white and the helicopter was much smaller and facing the other direction.

Ironically, the helicopter photo originally included the vehicle that was towing it..... a small Datsun-type station wagon.

Oh well. I guess it's not that uncommon after all.

Brace face

Tinsel teeth.

Metal mouth.

Jessie got braces last Tuesday. I remember when I had them. I was so excited at first, but it sucked actually.

Braces are different in this day and time. The wire is Titanium and the brackets come in tons of colors. Neater still, she can change her bracket color each time she has an appointment if she wants.

BEFORE













AFTER

The pancake conversation

The following is an actual conversation I had with Jason last night. He was hungry but didn't want what I made for dinner. He wanted me to cook him something.

Jason: Mommy I'm hungry.

Me: Well eat then.

Jason: There's nothing to eat.

Me: I made chicken pot pie.

Jason: I don't want that. It's disgusting; it has mushrooms.

Me: Well pick them out. There's not that many.

Jason: NO!! I'm not gonna eat that.

Me: Okay, then you're on your own. I'm not cooking anything else.

Jason: Mommy, I'm hungry, Mommy, I'm hungry, Mommy I'm hungry.... [this goes on for a bit. I ignore.]

Jason: What can I have? There's nothing to eat.

Me: Have a grilled cheese.

Jason: NO!

Me: Have a bowl of cereal or oatmeal.

Jason: NO!

Me: Have Ramen noodles then.

Jason: We don't have any more.

Me: Well then you're on your own.

Jason: I want pancakes.

Me: Okay, go for it.

[he goes into kitchen and I hear scuffling]

Jason: [yelling from kitchen] What do I do first?

Me: [yelling from living room] Read the instructions.

[silence]

Jason: How much do I make?

Me: How much do you want to make?

Jason: I only want one pancake.

Me: Well I don't know how to do that. Have something else.

[time goes by]

Jason: [in a very loud panicky voice] Where is the 3/4 cup?

Me: In the 2nd drawer.

Jason: What do I put it in?... I think I need the green bowl. [pause] It's dirty; it has Ramen noodles stuck to it.

Me: Well wash it then.

Jason: NO!

Jason: What else can I put it in?

Me: Use the Pyrex measuring cup.

Jason: NO! It has Ramen noodles stuck to it.

[pause]

Me: [sigh] Well why don't you just get all the dirty dishes together and have Ramen noodles?

[snicker]

Jason: Can I use this? [holds up a small Pyrex rectangular baking dish like you would make meatloaf in.]

Me: Sure.

[Jason comes in living room and sits down on couch, stirring the pancake batter in the Pyrex meatloaf dish.]

Jason: What temperature do I preheat the oven to?

Me: snicker.

[Jason dips a giant wad of batter onto his finger and shoves it into his mouth.]

Jason: This is disgusting!!

Me: [serious laughing] You retard!

[Jason goes back in kitchen. I hear cooking noises.]

Jason: Mommy, guess what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow?

Me: What?

Jason: Pancakes.

Me: That's nice.

Jason: Mommy, how do I know when to flip it?

Me: There will be bubbles.

Jason: What if there aren't any bubbles?

Me: Just give it time. [I begin to think about what is going on but refuse to go in there. That is exactly what he wants me to do.]

Me: What are you cooking it in?

Jason: Oil.

Me: No I mean what pan?

Jason: The pan I use to make grilled cheese.

Me: Cringing. [That pan is a griddle pan with ridges.]

I AM NOT GOING IN THERE.... I AM NOT GOING IN THERE!

[silence]

Jason: Was I supposed to preheat the oven to 400?

[more cooking noises.]

Finally, Jason comes into living room with a beautiful stack of three pancakes, complete with syrup, and shoves it in my face.

We are both grinning.

I knew he could do it.

Truckalicious

I see all kinds of weird things when going to or from Dale's house. Wanna buy a truck?

Double talk

Remember this picture of Jason multitasking?

When I knocked on Jessica's door because she had a phone call, she answered the door in mid-conversation on her cell phone.

I told her the phone was for "her" and handed her the phone fully expecting her to put her cell phone down. Instead, she put it up to her other ear and began talking as she walked back to where she was sitting.

A phone on each ear.

I stared for a moment as I closed the door. As I walked away, I thought about that picture of Jason.

Then I ran to get the camera. I went back into her room and took this pic.

Paul

Paul Newman died yesterday.

I didn't find out until mid-day today.

He was a fantastic actor, director, and businessman.

He was an icon. Nothing like current times.

I am sad.