Birthday

Last Thursday was the 15th anniversary of my 29th birthday. To celebrate I didn't do anything different than any other day. The morning went smooth getting the kids ready for school except we did have a slight problem with Spot.

Spot does not like to go out unless it's his idea and he will do anything he can to avoid it. While Jason was busy terrorizing Stinky with a homemade paper popper, I let Spot out (his idea). That was too easy I thought to myself as I focused on getting a cringing Stinky out from under my bed and scolding Jason for sending him there. As I put Stinky out the back door, Spot ran back in and it took the three of us a good five minutes to get him and put him out.... but not without first having to chase him from one end of the house to the other. First he ran underneath the coffee table, then, as Jessica closed in on him, he jumped onto the back of the couch. From there he ran down the hall and under my bed (his usual hiding place), but I was too quick and was able to shoo him out before he got too far underneath. From there he ran back down the hall toward the living room as I was yelling to Jessica to close all the doors! With Jason on his heels, he bounded into the living room, running around the perimeter a few times before hurdling the couch and dodging right past Jason who was trying his best to block the hallway entrance with his body. But Spot quickly discovered the doors were closed and proceeded back towards the living room. This time I was ready and scooped him up. After a few meows of protest, he was gently tossed out the door and we all breathed a sigh of relief. I'm sure he had a smile on his face as he reflected on what he just put three humans through and I fully expected to find a pile of cat poop as a token of his displeasure.

The highlight of my birthday was going to soccer practice that evening. We go usually even though Jason is unable to practice since I'm the treasurer and Jessica likes to play with her friends. Gives me some adults to talk to also. Anyway, I was sitting talking with a friend and got beaned in the forehead with a soccer ball traveling approximately 90 MPH. I was okay, other than a slight headache, but the woman sitting next to me got hit by the same ball on the side of her face... ouch!

Update on Laurie
She is out of the hospital... released on my birthday. I talked to her on Saturday. She sounded in good spirits and, best of all, sounded like herself, i.e., not like she'd been drinking. I hope this was a wake up call for her.

Towels

My cousin Sarah gave me two blue towels for my birthday. Never have I been so excited to receive a present. We were talking about towels a week or so ago and I had mentioned that I needed some.

I've had my towels since 1990... and until today we only had two good ones (which were permanently borrowed from others). The majority of our towels, however, are on their last leg. They are ripped, torn, and have been washed so many times you can see through them.

I keep meaning to buy new towels but never remember I need them until I'm actually drying off with one and look down to find threads stuck to me.

Towels are not something I can easily justify buying though. It's like they are a luxury item and there is always something else more pressing I need to spend my money on.

So thank you for the towels Sarah, I really appreciate the thought.

Thanks

Curves

I've really been enjoying going to my new Curves location. Everything is better than the previous one: bigger space, better hours, more equipment, use of hand weights, free pilates classes to members, incentives like t-shirts, etc. And one of the employees will come sit in the middle of the room and read or talk to us while we are exercising which makes it go by so much quicker! It's just all the way around better!

I noticed that they didn't take out my debit payment for January when I transferred so I inquired and was told the payment would come out February 9. So I waited. As of last Friday the debit still had not been made so I called to ask about it and was told to call back Monday between 8-10 am to talk with Denise (the owner).

So I called Monday and was told that Denise had not come in yet but someone would be back in touch by the end of the day. When I went to work out yesterday I found out that Denise had died.. DIED!! I had never seen or met her but it was shocking nonetheless. She was only 45.

I don't know what's going to happen to this location now. Her husband does the books but might not want to continue the business. I hope he does though because it's really a nice place.

I still don't know when they will take the debit out though.

Laurie

Laurie is in the hospital.

I knew this day was gonna come.

I prepared myself for it over and over. But I wasn't prepared.

She has pancreatitis, which is an inflamation/infection of the pancreas. She already has liver problems and she's an alcoholic. Not a good combination.

She's apparently been ill for a while. Bradley (her boyfriend) and his family (whom they live with) had been trying to get her to go to the doctor for months. But she wouldn't. Stubborn.

She progressively worsened to the point of not being able to hold any food down; could barely talk, barely walk. They said she hadn't had a drink in a week.

She was admitted to the hospital sometime Saturday night after midnight. Daddy called me yesterday morning to tell me she was in ICU. He had no real information, only what Bradley's sister Beth could tell him which wasn't much. They are not family, so the hospital would not release any information to them until permission was obtained from Laurie and a "passcode" issued.

I got Beth's number from him and immediately called her. She told me the same thing, nothing really. I got the hospital number from her. She told me the hospital would not give me any information over the phone without permission but I called anyway.

I found out that Laurie was not in ICU, but CCU instead (critical care unit). Not sure if that's better or worse. I was transferred to the waiting room. After going through the whole spiel of how I was her sister and was in Florida and she had no family up there, only her boyfriend and his family, the lady said she couldn't do anything because she was in the waiting room and I would need to talk to a nurse. Can you transfer me to the nurses station? No ma'am.

So I hung up and called back. This time I reached the nurses station but they wouldn't tell me anything. Someone had to physically visit Laurie and talk to the nurse about getting a passcode. Bradley and his other sister Kim were already on their way to visit her. Laurie would have to give permission for her information to be released to Bradley. So I hung up and waited.

I finally heard from Kim and got the passcode. I called and spoke with a nurse and found out she has pancreatitis. She was severely dehydrated and was being given intravenous fluids and pain medication... resting. I was unable to talk to her so I left a message with the nurse and asked her to please let Laurie know that I called and that we knew what was happening.

I know this a treatable thing and she'll be okay. But it's gonna happen again. She's not going to stop drinking. Stubborn.

I'm preparing myself for it. But I won't be prepared.

Cast off

Jason's cast came off yesterday. Now he has to wear heel inserts in his shoes for an unspecified amount of time. He hates the inserts because his shoes are tight and they cause his toes to be crammed into the front of his shoe. I told him I'd buy him some new shoes (needs them anyway), but Walmart or Payless are not good enough for him. I imagine he'll need to get a job or else he'll be walking around in socks soon.

He cannot play any sports for another month, so basically I'm giving up on this soccer season!

We've all gotten so used to seeing Jason in a cast that he kind of looks abnormal without one. Yesterday when I asked Jessica if she noticed anything different about him, she asked if he'd had a hair cut!

Valentines Day

Had a good Valentine's Day. I bought the kids some cute chocolate packages at Target last month and hid them in the kitchen cabinet (higher than even I could see into). Jason's was a chocolate bar with xoxo engraved in it and Jessica's was a purse-shaped box containing four mini chocolates (cute). It took exactly one week for Jessica to find them but they waited patiently for yesterday.

Jessica made me a card. Two actually. One inside the other. So sweet. One of them contained two heart pockets. Inside each pocket were smaller heart coupons that said "make bed," "wash dishes," "put away dishes," "free," and "make up." I noticed that the "make up" heart was only in her pocket and chuckled to myself at her anticipation of our fighting! Jason had no clue she made these "chore" cards and as she was explaining that one pocket of coupons was for her and one was for him, he kept groaning "oh this is not a good idea!"

I think it's a great idea and I intend to use them... especially the "free" one!

Box of catfood

Yesterday I came upon Jessica sitting on the kitchen floor arranging the catfood in this pattern. I told her I didn't mind just as long as she cleaned it up. But she didn't have much to clean up because Spot ate most of it.

Beware of men in kilts

Okay, sorry for my posting procrastination and thank you to those who have reminded me that I haven't posted about this yet... (seriously I keep forgetting anyone reads this stuff).

Since my "new" life began, I've had little time to myself. I'm learning that it's hard not having another parent around to take over when the kids are driving you insane. Yes, I realize that's part of single parenting... it's just that I hadn't really thought about that part.

I decided that I needed a break from the kids. I needed to get out and do something... meet new people (after all that is one of my goals for myself). So I made plans to go out for drinks with a co-worker. It's been ages since I went out to a bar and there was no way I was going to go out by myself so I recruited Kerri from work. I arranged for the kids to spend Saturday night with David. I would have total freedom until Sunday morning around 10:00 a.m. I anticipated my night out all week and when Saturday morning arrived I delivered the kids promptly at 9:00 a.m. They weren't thrilled about going mainly because there's nothing for them to do, but go they did. Now I could do anything I wanted for the whole day! So what did I do? I went home and cleaned the house.

I stressed about what I should wear all day, changing clothes at least three times. I finally decided on a black and white sweater, jeans, and my brown suede shoes (didn't want to wear anything with heels in the event I get drunk and fall flat on my face!).

Our plans were to go out for dinner and arrive at the bar at around 9:30. Kerri would meet me at my house and we would ride together. Then she would spend the night so she wouldn't have to drive home. Kerri arrived at my house at around 7:15 and we had a beer and talked for about an hour. Before leaving for dinner, we decided to put on some of my phermone perfume (my passion party purchase) just to see if it would have any effect on unsuspecting men. This stuff is supposed to enhance your natural phermones... your "scent", which is what attracts the opposite sex.

So we doused ourselves up and we went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. We were seated in a booth with a very wobbly table. The lady who sat us came back with some napkins and began stuffing them under the table leg but it wasn't working... mainly because it was the back leg they needed to be under. Then our very cute Mexican waiter arrived and said he knew how to fix the table... he said that was "what Mexicans did" (we laughed). I had to get out of my side of the booth to let him in so I went to the bathroom. I told Kerri to order me a diet coke if I wasn't back in time. So the waiter fixed the table and when I got back to the booth there were 2 very large margaritas sitting at our table. I sat down and looked at Kerri. She said she got scared and didn't know what to order so she ordered margaritas because they were two for one. I've never had a margarita but I know enough to know they contain alcohol! I took a sip and almost choked.. it was very strong. I looked at her and said, I'm sorry but if I drink this I'll never make it to the bar. We ended up leaving them intact for the most part and drinking water with our dinner. Every time the waiter came to our table he acted nervous and fumbled or dropped things (one thing being margarita all over my leg but luckily my lap napkin caught most of it!). We surmised that the phermones were affecting him but he may have just been clumsy.

So off to the bar we went, but first we put on more phermone perfume. When we arrived at the bar (lounge actually), the band was in the middle of their first set. It was about 10 pm. There was no where to sit so we just stood in the corner and looked obviously stupid. Then Kerri decided to go outside for a smoke and I went with her. It was freezing cold out there. (Note: the last time I was in a bar, you could smoke inside). When we came back in we were able to snag two seats at the bar. The seats swiveled so we were able to sit facing the band and watch all the drunks dancing and conversing.

And there were plenty of drunks... namely several men wearing kilts. We figured they must have attended some dinner function at the adjoining restaurant earlier in the evening and came over after that party broke up. There was this incredibly tall guy with a tiny head (reminded me of Fred Flintstone in a way) also in a kilt dancing with everyone. He strode past us several times without noticing us. We ordered a beer and began to chat over the incredibly loud but good band while watching people dance. Eventually the tall guy in the kilt ended up talking to some women who were sitting next to us. He turned around with his back to one of the women and I happened to catch his eye just as she sprayed something aerosol toward the back of his head. He looked at me as I said (knowing he couldn't hear me because of the band) that "she just sprayed your head." Well of course he didn't hear me so he came over and leaned down and I repeated what I had said. He asked what it was and I told him it smelled like perfume but then I realized it was hair spray. Well that did it. He got too close to that phermone stuff. He left but then returned and asked me to dance. I politely declined and told him I wasn't ready to dance; that I had to have more alcohol in me before that would happen. Well he was put off and he walked away rolling his eyes. No biggie I thought and went back to talking to Kerri. But he kept coming back. At one point Kerri went to the bathroom leaving me alone. I knew he would come over and sure enough he did. He was very persistent but he was polite. He kept telling me that I "was a lady of integrity and honor and he saluted me." He said this to me at least three times during the night. Then he said I looked like Doreen and Kerri busted out laughing which offended him.

In between dealing with him we saw several amusing sights. At one point a couple came in.. an older couple and they were standing right in front of us. The woman was groping the man's butt which cracked us up immensely. Then there was this woman, much younger, who was inappropriately dressed and dancing with everyone, but she had no rhythm. As she was coming off the dance floor, her breast flopped out of her halter top giving all the men who were ogling her a jolly!

We had two more beers and then decided we were both tired so we went home. All in all we had a great time. I learned that I don't really miss the bar scene. I learned that that phermone stuff actually works. And I learned to beware tall men wearing kilts.

One month!!

Well I've officially made it through my first month. It hasn't been easy but it hasn't been that hard either. We've done well with our budget I think. I'll look over my finances later tonight, but I think I actually have some money left over to save! It's been an emotional, scary, exciting, exhausting month and I'm proud of myself for getting through it. I'm proud of the kids for getting through it as well.

Week from hell

I am having the worst week with Jessica. She goes through these spurts.. a week or a few days where she is unbearable. She won't follow directions, she won't do what I ask until I've lost my temper and she is at the point of receiving a punishment, she won't listen. It's awful. She's always been like this and I don't handle it well. Eventually her blatant defiance subsides and she becomes the model child; sometimes even doing chores I don't ask her to do.

Jason and Jessica have been fighting like cats and dogs this week. I mean they fight with each other all the time and it's normal. Laurie and I did it. But this week has been worse than normal. What happens is that I get home from work, walk through the door exhausted (which is my normal state these days) and there they go... "Mommy, Jason did this," or "Mommy, Jessica won't give me that." Nothing I say makes a difference. I've tried to get them to talk out their disputes rationally... we all sit down on the couch and each person gets to have their say... doesn't work. They won't stop. Then they suck me into their dispute and I end up getting angry, yelling, and generally losing it. I know this is not the way to deal with it; yet I can't stop.

Today, it happened again. I had decided before walking through the door that I was going to have a pleasant evening. I wasn't going to lose my temper. So when they began their petty bickering, I went about my business washing the dishes. When they realized I wasn't going to come and break them up, they began to call me. I told them that I wasn't going to get involved. I ignored them. They continued their bickering to the point where they began slapping each other. I walked into the living room and found them both on the floor crying, holding body parts as if they would fall off if they let go. I walked past them, down the hall and into my bedroom. I closed the door, locked it, and proceeded to check my email. After a minute or two, I could tell the crying had stopped. In fact I heard laughing. Awesome I thought to myself... my reverse psychology or whatever it's called is working. Well that was short-lived. After I went back into the kitchen to finish the dishes, they started up again. This time Jason was on the computer and Jessica wanted to be on it at the same time. They kept screaming my name. I thought to myself, how am I going to deal with this? I could feel my blood pressure rising... stress settling in AGAIN. Then a light bulb went off! I knew what I was going to do.

So I got 4 pieces of notebook paper (2 for each child). At the top of one sheet, I wrote "I will not fight with Jessica", "I will not fight with Jason", respectively and then wrote their name at the top of the other sheet. I walked calmly down the hall to my bedroom. They were still yelling my name. Jessica, sitting on the floor leading against my closet door, was copying everything Jason said except way louder (she has some lungs I tell you). I calmly took Jessica by the hand and told her to come with me. They both stopped dead in their tracks and looked at each other. I handed Jessica her sheets. Then I handed Jason his. You will both write the sentence written at the top of the sheet on each line of these 2 sheets of notebook paper, front and back.

They were in disbelief. Jason went into his room and closed the door. Jessica sat down in the doorway to her room. I told her (but loud enough so he could here) that if there were no more problems, I might let them stay up past 8:00 tonight.

It's been very quiet, except for the occasional complaint from Jessica that her hand hurts (she started after the 10th sentence I believe). I went into the kitchen and poured myself some diet coke (generic brand) and got 3 chocolate chip cookies. I sat down on the couch and looked for the remote. FINALLY, I would get to relax!!! Well, I couldn't find the remote... still can't find it. Neither will own up to losing it. Eventually it will turn up. After the kids finished, they proudly showed me their sentences. It was almost as if they enjoyed it. How awesome was this? I am the "man" I thought to myself. I've finally got the edge over them. Then they both left and proceed to get into another fight.

All this before 6:00 p.m.


Oh, forgot to mention, when I got home, I walked into the kitchen and noticed black stuff all over the floor, then I noticed a paper towel with black (soot) on it soaking wet in the sink. ??? What's up, I thought. Then I heard the vacuum cleaner running. Wow, I thought to myself, my children are actually cleaning up!!! How awesome is that? No, wait a minute this can't be for real. I walked into the living room to find Jessica sitting on the hearth of the fireplace VACUUMING it out. Oh God, I thought. We had just had a fire last night so there were ashes. How much actually went into the vacuum? Turns out, however, that she did have the foresight to shovel the ashes out before vacuuming and she proudly showed me what she used... a decorative container I keep in my bedroom.