Week from hell

I am having the worst week with Jessica. She goes through these spurts.. a week or a few days where she is unbearable. She won't follow directions, she won't do what I ask until I've lost my temper and she is at the point of receiving a punishment, she won't listen. It's awful. She's always been like this and I don't handle it well. Eventually her blatant defiance subsides and she becomes the model child; sometimes even doing chores I don't ask her to do.

Jason and Jessica have been fighting like cats and dogs this week. I mean they fight with each other all the time and it's normal. Laurie and I did it. But this week has been worse than normal. What happens is that I get home from work, walk through the door exhausted (which is my normal state these days) and there they go... "Mommy, Jason did this," or "Mommy, Jessica won't give me that." Nothing I say makes a difference. I've tried to get them to talk out their disputes rationally... we all sit down on the couch and each person gets to have their say... doesn't work. They won't stop. Then they suck me into their dispute and I end up getting angry, yelling, and generally losing it. I know this is not the way to deal with it; yet I can't stop.

Today, it happened again. I had decided before walking through the door that I was going to have a pleasant evening. I wasn't going to lose my temper. So when they began their petty bickering, I went about my business washing the dishes. When they realized I wasn't going to come and break them up, they began to call me. I told them that I wasn't going to get involved. I ignored them. They continued their bickering to the point where they began slapping each other. I walked into the living room and found them both on the floor crying, holding body parts as if they would fall off if they let go. I walked past them, down the hall and into my bedroom. I closed the door, locked it, and proceeded to check my email. After a minute or two, I could tell the crying had stopped. In fact I heard laughing. Awesome I thought to myself... my reverse psychology or whatever it's called is working. Well that was short-lived. After I went back into the kitchen to finish the dishes, they started up again. This time Jason was on the computer and Jessica wanted to be on it at the same time. They kept screaming my name. I thought to myself, how am I going to deal with this? I could feel my blood pressure rising... stress settling in AGAIN. Then a light bulb went off! I knew what I was going to do.

So I got 4 pieces of notebook paper (2 for each child). At the top of one sheet, I wrote "I will not fight with Jessica", "I will not fight with Jason", respectively and then wrote their name at the top of the other sheet. I walked calmly down the hall to my bedroom. They were still yelling my name. Jessica, sitting on the floor leading against my closet door, was copying everything Jason said except way louder (she has some lungs I tell you). I calmly took Jessica by the hand and told her to come with me. They both stopped dead in their tracks and looked at each other. I handed Jessica her sheets. Then I handed Jason his. You will both write the sentence written at the top of the sheet on each line of these 2 sheets of notebook paper, front and back.

They were in disbelief. Jason went into his room and closed the door. Jessica sat down in the doorway to her room. I told her (but loud enough so he could here) that if there were no more problems, I might let them stay up past 8:00 tonight.

It's been very quiet, except for the occasional complaint from Jessica that her hand hurts (she started after the 10th sentence I believe). I went into the kitchen and poured myself some diet coke (generic brand) and got 3 chocolate chip cookies. I sat down on the couch and looked for the remote. FINALLY, I would get to relax!!! Well, I couldn't find the remote... still can't find it. Neither will own up to losing it. Eventually it will turn up. After the kids finished, they proudly showed me their sentences. It was almost as if they enjoyed it. How awesome was this? I am the "man" I thought to myself. I've finally got the edge over them. Then they both left and proceed to get into another fight.

All this before 6:00 p.m.


Oh, forgot to mention, when I got home, I walked into the kitchen and noticed black stuff all over the floor, then I noticed a paper towel with black (soot) on it soaking wet in the sink. ??? What's up, I thought. Then I heard the vacuum cleaner running. Wow, I thought to myself, my children are actually cleaning up!!! How awesome is that? No, wait a minute this can't be for real. I walked into the living room to find Jessica sitting on the hearth of the fireplace VACUUMING it out. Oh God, I thought. We had just had a fire last night so there were ashes. How much actually went into the vacuum? Turns out, however, that she did have the foresight to shovel the ashes out before vacuuming and she proudly showed me what she used... a decorative container I keep in my bedroom.